Chapter Thirty Summary: Sam, Martouf and Lantash finally manage to return to Sam's house.  Sam is very
tired, so they order take out and just enjoy being together.  Sam wants to know what their relationship is like,
and she starts to ask them questions.  One thing leads to another and soon the talking dies down and the
passion takes over.

Amat Wyn – My Love
Coeurawyn – My Heart
Aima Coeurawyn - Blood of My Heart
Igisadonis Animawyn - Beloved of My Soul
Mer Cory’esh Mae’tek – My Lifemate

The Following are the Tok’Ra words:  
Mer -
Cory’esh - Life,
Mae’tek - Mate
FyCariad – Dearest

Samantha Carter closed the door and locked it against the world.  God, it had been a long
day.  Martouf watched her as she leaned back against the front door, tiredly closed her
eyes, and massaged her temples.  It was plain to see that she was weary.  

“You are tired, my heart.  What can I do that will be of help you?”  

Sam opened her eyes, looked at him appraisingly, and grinned.  “Are you sure you want to
make that offer?”  Sam asked him, with a challenging gaze.  

“I am quite sure, Samantha.  I know you are very tired, and I wish to do anything I can to
make your evening as stress free as possible,” he said, his sympathy for her tiredness
apparent in his voice.  He reached out, caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers,
and gave her a small smile.  “Truly, I will be more than happy to assist you in any way
that I can; Lantash agrees with me that there is no reason we cannot be of service to you.”

Determining that he was sincere, she said, “Okay, follow me.  You are about to get your
first lesson in ordering take out.”  

“What is this,
take out?”  Martouf wanted to know.  “Where are we to take it?  Is it very
far?  Do we need to take the car?”  Martouf frowned, “And who are we to order?  I do not
think I quite understand, Samantha.”    

Sam shook her head as if to clear it saying, “We are not taking it anywhere, therefore it is
not far, and we do not need to take the car.  As for ordering, we are going to order the take
out.  I will show you.  It is very easy once you know the numbers and have done it a time
or two.”  She concluded her answers and explanations by asking him, “How does Italian
sound to you?”  

Martouf opened his mouth and then closed it.  He looked a little confused.  “What is
Italian?”  He finally questioned her.  

Sam collapsed back against the couch with the phone in her hand.  She stared at him for
a long moment, and then murmured to herself, “I am talking to someone who thought
Ronald McDonald was an alien, and a Big Mac was an
interesting combination of flavors.”  
Speaking up, she said, “You will love it.”  Looking back down at the phone in her hand,
she said, “Okay, this is the programmed phone.  Numbers one through six are: the base,
followed by the Colonel, Daniel, Janet, Teal’c’s extension on base, and my brother Mark.  
Seven through twelve are take-out.  Italian is number eight.”  

“I am afraid that I still do not think I fully comprehend what you are telling me,” Martouf
said hesitantly.  He sat down next to her on the sofa, while trying to assimilate the barrage
of information for contacting certain people via this phone, which, he had determined, was
a rather primitive communications device.  

“However primitive it is, it must be useful here on the Tau’ri world, or they would not use it.  
We should probably pay attention to the instructions for its use.”
 Lantash admonished

Sam studied him for a moment and then evidently came to a decision, because she told
him, “Okay, I guess I need to explain a few other things first, and then we will phone in
for take-out.”  Having discerned her way, she started with some more basic information,
stating, “This is a telephone; we use it to contact other people and places.  Tonight we are
going to use it to contact a restaurant, and order some take-out, so we don’t have to cook.  
To use the phone you use phone numbers.  Everyone and everyplace has their own
unique number, so when you call them, you are calling directly to them.  Now, phone
numbers are long numbers that are a pain to remember, so if you program numbers you
use a lot into your phone, then all you have to remember is the one number.  Therefore, if
I want Italian, then all I do is press the number eight.  You watch this time, and then next
time, I will allow you to do it.”  

Martouf nodded as the “phone” now made more sense to him.  He was sure he understood
its basic use.  He watched as Sam pushed the number eight on the numbered area and
then put it to her ear.  He then listened as Samantha ordered something called lasagna,
spaghetti with meatballs with salads and garlic bread, and linguine in Alfredo sauce with
shrimp.  With his enhanced hearing, he could almost make out what the person on the
other end of the “phone” was saying, but not quite.  It was somewhat muffled by
Samantha’s hair and ear.  

As she hung up the phone, she turned to him, “I could not decide on what I wanted for
sure, so I ordered extra.  We can always have leftovers tomorrow or the next day.”  She
gave him a bright smile now that food was no longer a concern.  “It will be about forty-five
minutes before it is delivered, so I am going to take my shower first, just in case they get
here early.  I hope that we will both be finished, and you can see how to pay for it, too.  
That way, you can do it sometime, if I am not here, and you get hungry before I get

Taking him at his word that he wanted to be helpful, she stood and turned toward the
bedroom, as she continued, “While I hit the showers, grab a bottle of wine, and put it in
the fridge.  I like it a little cool, not cold.  Then get the plates and stuff out, and set the
table,” Sam called out instructions, as she continued toward the bedroom and the shower
stripping off her clothing as she went.  Continually raising her voice, as she got farther
away, she continued, “I will finish up whatever you don’t get finished when I get out of the

“Oh, and remind me that tonight is trash night, and we
really,” she stressed, “have to put
the garbage out, or we will come home some evening later in the week to an extremely
unpleasant odor.  Especially,” she said, “after tonight’s dinner.”  

Martouf stood and made his way across the room, only to stand bewildered in front of the
door to the kitchen.  Lantash was grumbling.  
“What exactly was it she said about the
wine?  She wants it cold, not cool?  Or was it the other way around?  I am not good at the
domestic things that are required on the Tau’ri world.  How are we to know where to look
for these things?”

“I believe she said she likes it cool, not cold, and she also requested we do something
with,” he paused, obviously thinking, “plates and stuff?  Why must a meal be this
 Lantash could feel him hesitate, before he asked, “Lantash, what is a trash
night?  Moreover, what does it have to do with unpleasant odors?”

“I do not know, Martouf, and I cannot believe that neither of us can complete three small
tasks, when we have undertaken many missions where we were required to do much more
difficult things than this, with much more complicated instructions,”
Lantash said,
somewhat waspishly.  

Martouf retreated, thus forcing Lantash to take control.  He stalked to the cabinet where
he had noticed that Samantha kept her wine.  There he found what he thought she
wanted, but once he had it in his hand; he was undecided about what, exactly, to do with
it.  What was he to do with it now?  Did he put it in the white box to get it cold, he

“Here, let me take over.  You know no more than I do what we are supposed to do.”  
Lantash retreated abruptly, and Martouf almost dropped the bottle.  

“Aahh!  Be more careful.  I do not want to have to attempt to clean up a mess without
knowing where the implements to accomplish that are to be found.”
 Now having the wine
in his hand, he, too, stood undecided as to where to put it.  The white box had two doors.  
Opening the freezer door, he stuck the bottle of wine inside, and then began his search for
the other things she had requested.

He heard Lantash sigh, heavily, before saying,
“I am sorry, Martouf, I should not have
snapped at you.  It was uncalled for and inappropriate.”

“No, you should not, and your apology is accepted.  As you say, both of us are capable of
following very complex instructions, when it comes to a mission.  It cannot be that difficult
to prepare to eat a meal.  Therefore, I am of the opinion that something other than not
understanding Samantha’s instructions is bothering you,”
Martouf stated in his normal
placid, calm way.   

“Yes,” Lantash’s response was quite brief.  

Martouf waited patiently for him to continue, all the while looking for the
plates and stuff
that he was sure he would recognize when he saw them.  As he opened the last cabinet on
that side of the kitchen, he released a sound of triumph.  
Plates and stuff.  He had known
they had to be here somewhere.  
Plates and stuff were for eating, and now he needed to
find the candles and the wineglasses.  

He also needed eating utensils.  He would look in the cabinets on the other side of the
room.  Again, he had success.  Remembering how she had set the plates, utensils and
candles on the table before, he proceeded to attempt a similar setting.  Something was
missing.  He frowned.  
“Mouth cloths,” Lantash said to him.  

“You are correct,” he agreed.  Another search of the kitchen cabinets turned up a set of
matching mouth cloths.  Again, he frowned.  That did not sound correct, but it looked
right on the table.  He would have to request the correct name.  

“She called them napkins, I believe,” Lantash again answered his unspoken question.  “I
have no idea why they are called napkins when they are used to wipe ones mouth,”
said, before Martouf could put his questions into words.  

Martouf nodded his agreement and feeling triumphant, he relaxed onto the couch.  
you ready yet to tell me what is wrong, Lantash?”
he questioned his friend.  

“There is no point in avoiding the issue.  I am having more difficulty in controlling the pain
in our chest.  I am afraid that soon I will no longer be able to shield you from it,”
said, quietly.  

Martouf paused, before saying quietly,
“Going through the Sevesh Lok Twin would stop it,

“I know.  I am beginning to think that I will soon have no choice, but I would prefer to do it
because I know it is the right thing to do, not because I am being forced into it by the
physical ramifications,”
he replied, sounding disconsolate.

“And do you not already know it is the right thing to do, Lantash?  Truly the right thing to
 Martouf asked him softly.  

“Yes.  Yes, I do know.  My mind accepts the inevitability of doing so, but my heart still
rebels at the thought of breaking our vows.  I am sorry, Martouf,”
Lantash responded

“Kataya and Samantha deserve your apology, not I,” Martouf responded.  

“Yes,” Lantash responded grimly.  “I am aware.  I do truly think I will be able to do it
without regret soon, Martouf.”

Martouf sighed.  “Then we will simply have to live with the ache until you can do so,
 Lantash felt Martouf hesitate for a moment and then felt his determination.  
“The words that Samantha said about love this afternoon, Lantash.  It made me realize

“What is that, Martouf?”
 Martouf’s comment caught his attention.  

“Although we have been blended for over a hundred years, I have never told you, in words,
what you mean to me, or how alone I would feel without you.  I know you have felt my
feelings, but I wish to tell you that I have never regretted our blending, even when I have
been upset with you and you with me.  I wish you to know that I understand how Dominic
could have loved you so, and I understand your emotions and love for Kataya.”

“I wish you to know that I will do everything I can to give you the time that you need to
come to terms with everything, and I do,”
he paused briefly, “I do share your feelings—your
love and devotion—for Kataya, Lantash.  The more I learn of her and come to know her, the
deeper the feelings have grown, but I am doing my best to help you to come to terms with
formally parting from her.”
 He paused once again, and then finished, “For that is all that it
will be.  I truly believe that the deep love and honor we feel for her will remain, but we will
no longer feel this need to—to lie with her.”

Lantash was quiet for a long moment, astonished by the verbal acknowledgement.  Then
he said to Martouf,
“I loved Dominic very much, Martouf, that is true, but what I said to
Samantha about you was also true.  I consider myself the recipient of a truly extraordinary
gift, by having had two such wonderful, caring hosts, and I have learned much from both of
you.  I love you, Martouf, just as I did Dominic.  Please, do not ever doubt that.”   

“As for Kataya and your love for her, I am sorry that you have had to be brought into this,
but I very much appreciate your willingness to help me to come to terms with our parting.  I
know and understand what you believe, and I, too, am coming to believe that it is true.  I
honestly do believe that soon now, I will be able to take my place beside her during the rite
of Sevesh Lok Twin.  Furthermore, I thank you for your patience, support, and love,
Martouf, Mer FyCariad Cory’esh Mae’tek.  They mean more to me than I will ever be able to
tell you.  I can only hope that you can feel how deeply I love and honor you, as well.”

It was Martouf’s turn to sit, astounded and unmoving, as the waves of Lantash’s love
washed over and through him, infusing him with a warm and tender glow that clasped his
heart and cradled it gently, warming it with the depth of the emotions that he as feeling
from Lantash.  

That is how Sam found them.  “Martouf?  Lantash?  What is wrong?”  She asked,
concerned by the bemused look on Martouf’s face.  

Martouf smiled at her, one of his endearing, beautiful smiles.  “Because of you, Samantha,
Lantash, and I have verbalized our feelings for one another.  We have told one another
how much we care for each other.  Neither of us can believe that in all of these years, we
never actually acknowledged the feelings we have,” Martouf said quietly.  

“I am glad.  I think the two of you have a special bond.  I think it is very much like the one
that Kataya had with Siesha.  In fact, I would very much like to talk about…damn, why
are they early when you don’t want them to be?”  Sighing, she stood up, retrieved her
billfold from the counter, and taking Martouf by the hand, gave him his first lesson in
paying for takeout.  

“Go take your shower, Martouf,” she said, as she shut the door after the delivery boy.  “I
will put this in the oven to keep it warm.  

Twenty minutes later, a gorgeous and sexy Martouf wandered into Samantha’s living
room, where she sat reading a technical journal.  When she looked up and saw him
standing in the doorway dressed in black silk trousers and jacket, she decided that
sometimes astrophysics just was
not quite as exciting as she had always thought it was.  

She swallowed and headed for the kitchen.  I am too young for hot flashes she thought, as
the temperature in the room seemed to have raised.  She checked the oven, nope just set
on warm.  Okay, Sam, she thought, you have to get through the meal first; then you can
have desert.  

“Martouf, where is the wine?”  Sam called to him from the kitchen where she stood, gazing
into the refrigerator.  

“It is in the top part of the white box, the, um, refrigerator,” he called back to her, as he lit
the candles on the table.  

“Okay, um, thanks.”  Oh, well, I can get used to really cold wine, she thought.  After
retrieving the now very cold wine and grabbing the corkscrew, she proceeded to pop the
cork.  With it and a tray full of food, she headed back to the little alcove.  Sitting and
watching as the stars came out one by one was a favorite pastime of hers.  She hoped he
enjoyed it, too.  

Sam made sure that Martouf tasted everything before making his choice of what to eat.  As
she watched him, she asked, “What do you do if you like something, but Lantash doesn’t
like it?”  

Martouf stared at her for a moment.  “I had not really considered it.”  He gave it some
thought, and it was obvious that he was also participating in an internal conversation.  
Looking up he said, “Lantash is pointing out that we have actually had that happen a few
times; I had simply forgotten.  I like a beverage that he does not care for very much.  He
does not actually actively dislike it, though.  We disagree about some foods.  There is only
one we have a real problem with, and it is one that he likes, and I truly cannot stand.”  

“So what do you do?”  

“On the ones where one of us likes it, and the other simply does not care for it, we eat it

“What about the one that he likes and you hate?”  She asked.  

Martouf laughed.  “Lantash waits until I am asleep, and then he takes control.  He does
not allow anything to disturb my sleep, and he eats it while I am unaware of it.  He will
then eat something I do like, and he cleans our teeth several times to be sure that no taste
of it lingers.”  

“What happens if you are the one who likes something he hates?  You can’t keep him
asleep can you?”  

“No, and it has not happened.”  He stopped speaking to listen for a moment, and then
continued, “He tells me that in that case, he would put himself into a trance-like state or
dormancy for a time and hope I was finished and had brushed our teeth before he

Sam laughed, delighted.  “You really do have a great relationship.”  

Seeing that he had finished, she suggested they clean up and then move to the couch in
the living room.  Taking their wine with them, they soon had the food put away and the
dishes in the dishwasher.  Sam gathered the trash, and then showed them where she
kept the bin into which she placed it.  She also showed them where to set the garbage
cans at the curb of the street for the garbage collectors to pick up the next day.  Thus,
Martouf and Lantash solved another mystery of the Tau’ri world, and came to understand
the importance of
trash night, and the importance of placing certain remains outside in
the bin in order to prevent any unpleasant odors developing within the abode.  

Finally finished with the cleanup of the meal, they sat on the sofa in a comfortable silence
and enjoyed simply being together and alone.  As they relaxed there, Sam rubbed her
hand up and down the silk trousers they were wearing realizing how wonderful the
material felt under the touch of her fingertips.  Eyeing the jacket, she wondered how long
it would be before all he managed to wear was the trousers because she would have taken
over the silk jacket.  

“What are you thinking, my heart?  You were smiling and looking at my clothing.  Are they
incorrect to wear here like this?”  

Sam’s smiled widened, as she replied; “Actually, I was wondering how soon I could talk
you out of that jacket.  I love the feel of it, and I was thinking how nice it would be if you
were in, um, the trousers while I was in the jacket.  So to answer the question, no, it is not
inappropriate to wear here at all.”  

“The jacket and nothing more, Samantha?  Would you wear it only for us with none of
your extra garments?”  Martouf’s eyes glowed, but it was not from Lantash.  The thought of
a thoroughly naked Samantha in only the black silk jacket was enticing.  

“Extra garments?  Is that what you have decided to call them?”  

“What else do you call them?  They are extra, are they not?”  

“Er, well, they have their own names, but, uh, extra garment is fine for now, unless you
just really want to know.”  She cocked head as she thought about it and abruptly said,
“Underwear.  It is a legitimate question, and since you are trying to pass as being from
here, you need this kind of information.  It is information that almost everyone would
know.  That being so…we call them underwear when we are not speaking of a specific
article.  They each have their own names, though.  The top piece is a bra and the bottom
piece is panties, underpants, or briefs.  Then we can reduce that to types and call them by
those names.  That is if we want to be really specific, and tell someone exactly what we
mean.”  She shrugged before concluding the information with something guaranteed to
confuse him.  “We might say we bought a demi-cup push-up, with matching bikini briefs
in blue or that we got a silk and lace camisole with matching low rise tap pants in purple.  
Is that enough information or would you like more?”  Sam was quite serious in her
question.  He, they, did need commonly, widely known Earth information, and the sooner
he began to learn it, the safer it would be for them and everyone else.  

At the negative shake of his head, Sam leaned back and snuggled into Martouf’s arms,
which wound their way around her.  She could tell that Martouf and Lantash were
talking, and it reminded her that she had wanted to explore the symbiote/host
relationship they had and talk to them about it.  In this case, thought was as action, and
she asked him, “Martouf, what happens when you and Lantash have a disagreement?  I
mean, my dad and Selmak argue, and then will not speak to each other until they cool
down.  How do you two handle disagreements?  Do you and Lantash argue much?”  

“We have disagreements.  Sometimes they are very serious, but, with the situation we are
in, we must resolve our conflicts in a mutually acceptable way.”  

“Sounds like something some marriages could use,” Sam said, thoughtfully.  Seeing his
puzzled expression, she shook her head, “Never mind,” she said.  

“Lantash tends to sulk and refuses to talk to me.  I, on the other hand, sometimes yell at
him,” Martouf said, solemnly.  Samantha watched as his eyes glowed, indicating that
Lantash had probably taken exception to that speech.  She giggled.  

“That is not entirely true, Samantha.  Martouf will often refuse to answer me.  
Furthermore, I will occasionally yell at him, although, for the most part, I believe that I
tend to be less passionate than he is in our disagreements.  I do
not,” he stated, quite
firmly, “sulk.”  

Seeing Martouf once again take control, Sam’s giggling increased.  

“That is not true; Lantash sulks, I do not.  Moreover, he can be very passionate in our
disagreements.  We have both, on occasion, yelled, and refused to speak to one another.”  
Suddenly, he laughed with Sam.  “It seems that, in reality, we have quite similar ways of
dealing with our disagreements.”  

“But, for the most part the two of you are happy together, and you don’t spend most of the
time arguing.  At least, I assume you don’t, and perhaps I should not assume that.”  

Martouf looked thoughtful for a moment.  “I do not believe we disagree often, but it does
happen, just as most friends can disagree at times.  I will not lie to you; we have had some
very intense disagreements.  We have moments when we both wish we could escape from
one another, but they are rare, and we work through them.”  His lips quirked, in a small
half smile, “We really have no choice in the matter, so it is as well that we get along quite
well, for the most part.”  

Sam sat in thoughtful silence before she spoke, “It seems so random a chance that a
person and a symbiote will meld well.  I mean, what if the match is just a total mess?  
How do they stand it?”  

“We have had that happen, Samantha.  As you know, although there is a certain amount
of risk involved, they can change hosts.  When a symbiote and a host do not get along,
then they can request a change.  Oddly, it only happens rarely, and when it does we do
everything we can to correct it.  There are also times that the host simply cannot adjust to
sharing their body, mind, and emotions, and at those times, we also do everything we can
to find a new host for the symbiote.”  

He lapsed into silence as if thinking, but shortly he continued.  “It is not true that we
cannot get away from one another.  We do share memories and emotions; feelings of love
are especially hard to control.  However, the reality is that we both have a space within
our minds to which we can retreat, and the other does not go there.  I do not know how to
explain what it is, or how it works, for the symbiote sets the place apart for both of us.”  

“All I know is that each of us can keep some things to ourselves, away from the other.  It is
why I did not know very much of Kataya and Lantash.  He had buried the memory in his
private place.  Unfortunately, although we can both do this, at times of great emotional
upheaval, stress, or at the point where a symbiote dies and the host lives, those memories
are often released.  I believe that is why you retained Jolinar’s memories, and it is the
reason that seeing Bastet again released the emotions connected to Kataya that Lantash
had kept buried.  I never saw her image, but I shared the emotions when he was
remembering the,” here he paused for a moment, “the torture and subsequent loss he had
when they had to part.”  

“He kept the memories of their time together separate, at first, because it was still painful
to remember the loss.  Later, he simply left them tucked away, and there was no reason to
bring it up.  Coming into contact with Bastet’s forces changed that, and he could not
continue to keep them locked away.  They broke through, and it was extremely painful, for
both of us,” Martouf explained quietly, remembering vividly the night and the emotions
that had rolled through him, bringing him to his knees.  

Taking his hand, she absent-mindedly stroked his fingers.  She looked up at him, and
said, “During the link with Kataya, I went through her joining with Siesha.”  She sat
quietly for a moment contemplating what she wanted to say to them.  “You know that my
joining with Jolinar was not pleasant.  Had we had more time together, I think it would
have improved.  I truly believe that if we had time, we would have come to terms with one
another.  As it was left, though, all that remained were emotions and events that I could
not understand, stop, or control.”  Sam smiled sadly, and said wistfully, “I wish now that I
had the chance to know her.”   

Lantash took control, and said, “Samantha, it should not have happened the way it did.  
What Jolinar did was wrong, and the Tok’Ra all agree on that.  We are all sorry you were
treated so.”  It was obvious that the thought of what his mate had done distressed him.  

Sam shook her head at him, “I don’t blame her anymore, Lantash.  She was trying to
survive, to get back to you.  I can’t fault her for that.  I would do everything within my
power to return to you, too.  I hope I have shown that to you since you arrived.  I wish I
had been able to show you before, but we are together now, and I am no longer going to
regret what I can’t change.”  

"I have also thought of something else, since we realized how the Tok'Ra blend with a
host.  I was attempting to help the man breathe.  Jolinar may have thought I was offering
and did not realize until it was too late that I was not.  I will never know for sure, but I like
to think that was why she did it.  As a consequence, I really believe it might have been.  
She was not able to communicate well with me at first because I was terrified, panicked,
and by the time I calmed down enough to talk to her, the Ashrak found us."

Lantash sighed, closing his eyes for a moment, before saying, "You do not know how much
that helps me, Samantha.  I have always felt very upset over what she did.  We do not
take unwilling hosts.  It also seemed so very out of character for Jolinar.  She believed
very deeply in what the Tok’Ra stand for, and it…it did not fit in with our knowledge of
her.  Thank you,

“I am truly sorry I never got to know Jolinar better, as I said.  From the memories I have, I
think she must have been a wonderful person,” Sam said, as she contemplated what she
knew of Jolinar.  

Lantash nodded, “She truly was a very special person, as was Rosha.”  Looking at her
thoughtfully, he said, “Samantha, you told us the first day when we were together that you
would explain how you came to suddenly know that the emotions you had were yours and
not Jolinar’s, but you have never explained.”  Lantash looked at her with a question in his
eyes, his curiosity very obvious.

“I didn’t, did I?  I am sorry, and the explanation is simple really.  Kataya blocked Jolinar’s
emotions, so that all I could feel were my own.  I could not experience hers even when I
tried, so I was absolutely sure the minute you came through that what I felt was me, Sam
Carter, not Jolinar.  I have her emotions back now.  Kat had to release them during the
link, so that she could experience it.  It no longer matters though, because I know my
emotions and feelings,” Sam answered serenely, as she smiled at them, remembering the
joy she had felt that day.  

“I will have to remember to thank her,” he said, softly.  Then he smiled wryly, and said, “I
do not think I have ever been more shocked, or terrified, in my life, as I was in your room
and bed that day, my mate.  Rarely have I been so sure I would not survive something.  
We had dreamed of you being with us in that way for so many nights, and then, to
suddenly have you behave in that way,” he paused for a moment, remembering.  “I
believe that my mind ceased to function for a short space of time.”  

Sam watched as his lips quirked in another small self-derogatory smile.  “When thought
returned, I was so sure I could scare you away, and therefore, get you to stop the sensual
torture you were putting us through, and instead it only seemed to spur you to greater
liberties with our body.  Both of us were very confused and unsure of what was
happening.  All we knew was that you were not acting as you usually did, and we feared it
was some game you were playing.  Thankfully, it was a game you wished us to join and
never stop playing, and we have enjoyed that, my soon to be wife.”  

Leaning forward, he captured her lips with his and pulled her firmly against his silk clad
chest.  When she moaned, he released her lips and began to feather kisses from the
corner of her mouth to the crest of her cheek and from there down her throat.  He felt her
fingers splay across his chest and begin the kneading she sometimes did, as if she was a
small cat.  “Tell me, my mate,” he whispered, his voice husky, “should we keep the word
obey in the marriage service?  Would you love, honor and obey me, my soon-to-be wife?”  

Sam’s eyes snapped open as his words penetrated the sensual haze in which she had
been lost.  She heard him chuckle deeply, and she pushed him firmly away.  “I suppose
you got that information from my dad.  Trust him to encourage you to use an outdated
marriage service.  I don’t think it would be a good idea to include a vow I would only
break, do you, my soon-to-be husband?”  She asked sweetly.  

Lantash laughed aloud.  “No, my mate, I do not.”  

Sobering he said, “It was a wonderful thing to have happen, Samantha.  Martouf and I
had been dreaming of nothing else, after we found out that we were to come with Jacob,
and to have you greet us thus, it was as if our greatest fantasy had come true.  You can
have no idea of how long the nights can be, when falling asleep only leads to erotic
dreams that wake you up frustrated and in pain with longing.”  He paused, and then
asked, “Where did you learn the stimulating movements you used on me?”  That was
another mystery he and Martouf had pondered.  

Sam looked uncomfortable for a moment, and then she decided that the truth was the
best way to deal with this.  He might have guessed the answer anyway, so dodging the
issue would not help.  “The day before you came, Merdwin arrived with the information
about Bastet.  That evening, Kataya decided that we should know about her history with
Bastet, since it would color many things that happened.  That was right before she finally
realized that I was the Dragon of the Star, which, I am sure you know, put a whole
different spin on everything.”  

Ducking her head and blushing slightly, she nonetheless forced herself to continue,
saying, “Anyway, I realized, as she told us about her mate and Bastet, that not only had
she had a symbiote herself, but she’d had a Tok’Ra for a lover, and that meant that she
could answer all of my questions.  The night that Daniel and I were, well, when we almost
became lovers, I thought I was with you.  I remembered wondering if you could feel it if I
caressed Martouf’s body in certain places or ways.  When I realized that she would know,
I, uh,” Sam paused to clear her throat, and she looked up at him almost shyly, as she
finally brought herself to tell him, “I asked her to teach me how to, um, pleasure a
symbiote.”  By the time she finished, she was whispering, wondering what he would think
of her brazen actions.  She didn’t have long to wait.  

She watched as a bemused expression again stole over his face.  It reminded her of the
time Daniel had told her that if she would just lay a deep passionate kiss on Martouf, they
would find him wandering the halls in a daze.  He shook his head, and as the stunned
look faded, he took her face in his hands.  “You are the most amazing woman I have ever
known.  Not only do you ask Daniel for lessons in Goa’uld, you ask for sex education to be
able to pleasure us.  Samantha, I will never be able to tell you what everything you have
done to assure our mating would be wonderful means to me, to us.  Never.  I have told you
before, but I must repeat myself.  I, we, are truly awed by you, our mate.  You humble
me.  Thank you for being you and for loving us,” Lantash’s deep tones were huskier with
the depth of the emotion she had engendered with her confession.  

“Pleasuring you and loving you makes me happy, Lantash.  Everything I have done has
enhanced my own enjoyment.  I hope I will always give you pleasure, both of you.”  

As they looked at one another she saw an odd look come over his features, “What?  What
are you thinking?”  

“I,” he paused, obviously listening, “that is, we, were wondering, but you do not have to
answer, if you do not wish to, Samantha, but we are curious.”  He paused obviously
uncomfortable with what he wished to ask.  

“Lantash, I am your mate, and you and Martouf can ask me anything you wish.  If it is
something I can answer, I will; if not, I will not.  It is a very simple concept,” she said

Lantash nodded, and finally said, “I have been mated before.”  

“Yes, I know,” she said, beginning to understand where this might be heading.  

“We were curious if you have ever been—
mated—before?  We know you have physically
mated before, and we accept that as normal and natural, Samantha, we do not have a
problem with that as some cultures do.  We are asking if you have ever been joined before,
in the manner of your world.”  

“Ah.  I see.  I was engaged, betrothed, once, but it didn’t work out.  He was
not the kind of
man I thought he was, so I called it off before we were married.  Other than that, the only
other serious thoughts I have given to it were with Daniel.  We discussed it when we
realized how we felt about each other, and if you and Kataya hadn’t been involved, then I
probably would have ended up married to him.  Are you asking for any particular reason,
or just out of curiosity, to simply learn more about me?”  

“Simple curiosity, Samantha.  It occurred to us that there might have been others you
loved enough to bond with, and we were curious.  I am sorry if it makes you
uncomfortable,” he said, with obvious honesty.  

“No.  No, it does not make me uncomfortable; in fact, it is the type of question that we
should have the answers for about each other.  I know you have had relationships, too,
Lantash.  What is more important to me than that you had the relationships is that you
obviously cared enough to make them work.  They were long-term and they were happy.  
It shows me that you will not leave at the first sign of a problem to be worked through.”  

“You are correct and we would not.  A joining is binding on us, and we would not abandon
it lightly,” he said earnestly.  

“I know you would not.  You are proving that, aren’t you?  Although you know they must
be broken, your belief that your vows are binding is part of the reason you can’t yet bring
yourself to revoke those you and Kataya made to one another.  I do understand, you know,
and I honor you for it, but I believe that in this case, it must be done.”  

“I do agree, Samantha.  I know, also, that they must be broken, and I will do so very soon,
I promise you,” he said solemnly.

Nodding her head in agreement, she said, “I feel the same way about the vows we will
make.  If a problem comes up, we will just have to work it out, because for me, there will
never be another that can truly take your place.  You are my Soulmate,” she concluded

Hesitating for a moment, she then told him, “I have a question now.”  

“As you told me, I am your mate.  You may ask me anything you wish, and I, too, will try
to answer.”  He indicated she should continue.  

“All right, then, well,” she blushed slightly, “I know from what Kat explained that when
Martouf is in control and I, um, pleasure you, he is excited by it, too.  I guess my question
is; does Martouf feel everything when you are in control as well?”  

“We each feel everything the other feels, Samantha.  No matter which of us has actual
control, the other has the full pleasure of the mating.  We love as one,
Coeurawyn, both
emotionally and physically.”  

She nodded and then said, “I thought so, but I wanted to make sure I understood it

“You do,” he stated simply.  

Her curiosity satisfied, she leaned back in his arms and said, “I started to tell you
something earlier, and we got distracted.  Pleasantly so, true, but I want to discuss this as
I think it is important.  Is there anything else you wanted to know first?”  

“No, my heart, that was all we wished to know.  What is it that you wish to discuss,

“I realized when I experienced Kataya’s bond with Siesha how wonderful that relationship
can be, and I want you to know that I believe that in time I will be blended.  Not yet, of
course, but someday.”  

“I am glad, Samantha.  I will look forward to that day.  I understand that you do not wish
to give up your position on your team.  I have given this some thought, and I believe that I
could possibly come to enjoy living here part of the time.  On your world, that is.  Perhaps
the SGC would allow me to take part in some missions.  Being Tok’Ra means that I need
to be with them part of the time, of course, but I believe we should spend time together as
often as possible.  I also will do all I can to get you privacy when you come to the base.  I
understand how these things would make you hesitant to become Tok’Ra anytime soon.”  

Sam looked at him for a moment, before she said, “Whether I was Tok’Ra or not, I would
stay here with my team most of the time.  Those things you mention are important, but
they are not why I don’t want to blend yet.”  

“I do not understand, Samantha.  Is it that you still do not really believe you wish to be
blended?”  His confusion was obvious as he awaited her reply.  

“No.  I am pretty sure I want to blend, but I want to have our children before I am
blended,” Sam said calmly.  

Lantash seemed stunned, and Martouf did not move.  “Lantash, Martouf, is something
wrong?  Don’t you want children?”  

At last, he gasped for air, and Sam could tell that Martouf had assumed control again.  “I
gave up the thought of having children when I blended.  I suppose I always assumed that
any woman I had a relationship with would already be blended.  I would love to be the
father of your children, Samantha.”  

“Lantash?  What about you?  Would it disturb you to have more children?”  Sam wanted to
hear from both of them on this subject.  She watched as he came forward, but it seemed
an eternity before he spoke.  “Indeed, my heart, I would welcome your child.  You are
not?  No, of course it would be too soon for you to know.”  He shook his head, still
seemingly overwhelmed.  Would this woman always amaze him so?  Somehow, he
believed she would always take his breath away, and he knew then, that eternity would
not be long enough to know her.  

“No, I am not, and I will not allow that to happen before this mission,” she stated firmly.  
That was not going to happen when she was going into a battle of which the outcome was
very much in question.   

Lantash sighed, relieved, and he felt the same emotions course through Martouf.  At least
they would not have to worry about that during the mission.  “I am glad, Samantha.  As
much as I would welcome our child, I would not wish you, or us, the added worry of you
being with child during this battle.”   

He added, obviously angry with himself, "I should have thought of this, as well, my love,
and I am sorry I have not thought to protect you.  I am unused to being with a woman who
does not have a symbiote to see to it that no eggs ripen.  I apologize for my neglect, and I
will see to it that Martouf is safe for you from now on.”  

"You have nothing to condemn yourself for Lantash; I have taken care of it.  I am on birth
control, but in case it wasn't working correctly, since I was blended with Jolinar, I asked
Kat about it, and she checked me.  She and Janet both agree that there is no problem,
and neither is there any need for you to beat yourself up over it.  Please don't worry about
doing anything to Martouf because it is totally unnecessary."  

Lantash nodded.  "I understand, Samantha.  Thank you for the reassurance and
understanding.  I will take no precautions now, but should the time ever come when you
need for me to do so, please tell me at once, and I will undertake your protection
immediately, I promise you."  

Sam gazed at him with all the love her heart held for the two of them shining from within
her eyes, and sent a thank you to the All for giving her such a wonderful pair of mates.  

Then coming back to the conversation that she felt they should finish, she said, “I think
the training I will be going through would be extremely difficult if I was carrying a child.  
My guess is that I might lose it; the training seems very, um, intense.”  

“There is no need to try to shield me, Samantha.  I am aware of what training to become
Katteri-enti involves.  I have a son and daughter who were in training with their mother
before they left for Cadwaellon.  I am very familiar with how very stringent and even
dangerous it can be.  I am glad you brought it up, my love; because I wished to ask you if
you are sure you wish to go through with it.  You do have a choice, Samantha.  I do not
think anyone would fault you for refusing,” Lantash said as he looked at her anxiously.  

“I know I have a choice, Lantash, and this is the choice I made.  I will be all right, please
don’t worry,” Sam replied softly.  

Gazing at him with pain in her eyes, she said to him, “Please.  Please, try to understand.  
I know what she did to you, I felt what she did to you, to Dominic, to countless others.  For
them alone, she deserves to die.  For what she did to you and him, she deserves to die by
the Dragon’s fire, and I fully intend to see that she does so.  I swear to you that she will
die, and I will revel in her death, for only then will the pain in my heart that she has
caused cease.”  

As she continued to look into his eyes, he gave a strangled sound and leaned forward to
catch her lips with his.  How he loved this woman, her fire, her intelligence, her heart,
and her soul.  He could feel the love she gave to him as if it was alive, swirling around
him, moving through him, wrapping him into its soft warm embrace.  He needed to taste
the honey that was her lips and feel the heat of her tight around him.  He needed her,
wanted her.  She was his mate, his and Martouf’s alone, and just a look from her could set
him on fire.  He was burning up with need of her.  He wanted both of their worlds to know
and acknowledge that fact, to know with no doubts at all that this woman belonged to
him.  As their kiss ended, he rested his forehead against hers.  

“When can we go through the Tau’ri ritual, Samantha?  Soon?  I need to have you mated
to me in the eyes of your world and mine.”  

“Daimesh is a holder of the rituals.  That is a priest for our people who takes care of the
ceremonial part of our rituals and rites.  The Tok’Ra joining ceremony is neither difficult
nor long, and I wish for our people to see you as our true mate throughout the Tok’Ra as
well as the Tau’ri.  You have the respect of the Tok’Ra now, as a Warrior, and as a person,
for what you endured through Jolinar; yet you still had the courage to seek us.  Then you
offered to find a host for Selmak, and that host was your father.  Now, I wish you to have
the respect and honor of our mate, for you deserve no less.  When will you marry us,
 Tell me soon,” he moaned, as he took her lips again.  “Say soon, Samantha,”
he breathed against her neck.  

“Soon.  Very soon,
Igisadonis Animawyn.”  She gasped as his hand slipped between the
buttons on her shirt.  “I promise, very soon.”  

“Do you wish to lie with me tonight,
Coeurawyn?  Do you wish to join with me once again
in the world that is our passion?”  

A moan and a passionate kiss were the only answer he received.  Breaking the kiss and
leaning forward, he turned out the softly glowing lamp so that only the moonlight played
across her skin.  It threw shadows that made her eyes mysterious pools in a face carved in
delicate ivory.  

Slowly, he unbuttoned the first button on her shirt and kissed the skin that opened to his
view.  With the second button, he did the same, her skin feeling as if it was made of silk to
his lips and tongue, as he tasted her.  Slowly, so slowly, so sensuously, he moved to the
third button, and then the fourth and on, until there were no more buttons to be
unfastened, and he gently nudged it off her shoulders and watched as it pooled around
her where she sat.  Slowly, he leaned back and looked at her in the moonlight that
streamed through the window, captivated by the look of enchantment that transformed
her face.  

She had on one of the lacy extra garments that were such a puzzle to him, and he reached
behind her to free her from it, but stopped as he looked at her again.  Her breasts wished
to spill from the garment, and he found the sight erotic in the extreme.  It was as if they
were awaiting release, so they could flow forward in freedom and abandon.  However, he
had to admit that the edge of the lace that barely covered her nipples, let alone the
mounds themselves, was provocative in the extreme.  

From the rapture in her face to the sensuality she exuded, she was a wonder to him.  
Such pure love and need was writ on her body that he felt himself become steel and begin
to ache with desire.  Forcing himself to go more slowly still, he continued his leisurely
journey to bring to his delectation the secrets of her body, and to give to her the rapture
she deserved.   

Instead of releasing them into his hands, he leaned forward to run his tongue along the
edge of the garment.  As he lightly lapped at her skin, he heard her moan, and he smiled
gently in delight at the newfound way to bring her need forward to wait for him, hungry
and alive.  Again, he bent his head to the tops of her breasts and nipped at her causing
her to arch her back to bring herself closer to the source of the pleasure.  He allowed his
tongue to delve first between her breasts and then in search of the nipples so close to the
tops of the lace covering.  As he found his way to them, Samantha grasped his arms
tightly and moaned softly, then whimpered his names.  

The encouragement sent him to find her nipples through the lace and suck gently.  As she
jerked in his arms, he moved to feather kisses up and down her throat, across her jaw,
and then onto her lips.  The deep desire in her expression awed him once again.

Lips that tasted so very sweet; they were a honey he drank from again and again.  She
was a drug that kept him coming back time and again to indulge himself in the ecstasy
she provided him.  When he urged her to stand, she followed where he led, moaning his
names repeatedly, as his lips teased hers.  Finally, he reached behind her and expertly
flipped the clasp on the extra garment, and loosening his hold on her, he watched as it fell
to the floor.  

Kneeling in front of her, he slowly worked the jeans down her legs, feathering kisses as he
went his mouth open and his breath hot, exciting, and enticing.  He removed the jeans
and the bottom extra garment and, when they were on the floor, he stood and urged her to
step forward.  Watching her with eyes that glowed with the fire of desire, she heard him
whisper, “You are an enchantress, and I am the enchanted; you are a witch, and I am the
one you have bewitched.  I delight in the spell your love has cast on me, for it is one that
you have woven with soft silken threads, and I have no wish to leave it.”  

As if in a trance, her eyes, heavy lidded with passion, never leaving his, she followed that
which his hands urged her to do.  When she stood naked before him, he stepped back
from her, unfastened, and then removed the silk jacket that he wore.  Slowly, he dressed
her in the black silk and tied it snugly around her.  It fell to just below her hips.  He
folded the sleeves up, and then pulled her gently into his arms.  

Pulling in a shaky breath, he said, his voice hoarse with desire, “Samantha, you look
much better in that than I do.  I believe I like your idea of sharing it.  Martouf is directing
me to tell you how very beautiful we both find you.  He is so very right, my Samantha; you
are more beautiful to us than anything in this, or any other world.”  

“And I find you to be the handsomest of men, truly the most wonderful beings in my
universe.  You have no idea how very exciting I find the two of you.  I have never felt a
fraction of what I have felt with you.  I have never felt the wonder of being a part of a
whole; it is as if I have finally been completed.”  He watched as she slowly reached out and
ran her fingers around the top of the black silk pants that he still wore.  Finding what she
was looking for, she began a slow sensual exploration of it, stroking him gently, but firmly
as she watched the emotions flit across his face in the moonlight.  

Leaning forward, she found one of his nipples and began languorously teasing it before
moving to kiss her way across the muscles of his chest to the other one.  Once there, she
appeared mesmerized by it, laving him lazily, lingering over it with no apparent desire to
leave it to explore farther.  At the sound of Lantash moaning her name, almost harshly,
she smiled slightly and began a languid circuit of the remainder of the chiseled sculpture
that was his chest, feeling each muscle cord tightly under the sensual teasing of her
tongue and lips.

She allowed her hands to take over the exploration of his naked chest and arms.  She
persisted in an agonizingly deliberate way, gently caressing every curve and muscle, as
she followed the vee to the top of the black silk pants time and again.  One hand reached
behind him to caress his neck and back, and he shuddered as the feelings tore through
him.  As his breath quickened, he reached out a hand, and slipping it inside the silk
jacket, he began gently caressing her nipple with his thumb.  Standing thus, they
watched each other’s faces as their hands explored each other’s bodies.  They learned the
story of each other’s passion; they delighted in reading the story over again, as if it was
the first time.  

Soon, Samantha began to tremble, and she managed to moan their names yet again.  
Leaning forward, she kissed his lips gently, and sighed her love for them.  Reaching out
he pulled her gently forward until she was high against his heart, and then he kissed her
deeply, passionately.  “Are you ready to come to me, my beautiful Samantha?  My mate?”  
Martouf asked softly, as he took control, and they made their way easily into the bedroom
and to the bed.    

“Yes.  Oh, yes.”  She breathed into his ear as her tongue found a new place to play.  

She felt him shiver as he laid her on the bed.  Slowly, delighting in one another, they both
discarded the black silk clothing, leaving it to lie beneath them as they continued to
explore each other.  This was what they had waited for, seemingly forever.  Sam moved
her exploration of his body ever lower until she found his shaft, rock hard and waiting for
her touch.  She loved the way he moaned every time her breath wafted across the head of
his shaft.  Then her tongue was flicking out, teasing him before her mouth could wait no
longer for the taste of him, and she took him in to enjoy his flavor and pleasure him in the
way she knew he loved so.  

“Samantha, you drive all thought from me.  
Coeurawyn, I become a mass of seething need
when you make love to me in this way,” he moaned to her, his voice almost suspended in
his need.  “I cannot seem to get enough of you.  I feel as if I could make love to you forever,
yet never get my fill of you.  Enough, I cannot take more without spilling,” he stated
hoarsely, as he sat up and pulled her mouth away from his body before he lost control.

Her eyes gleamed as she looked up at him from where he had placed her on her back.  In
the moonlight, he could see them start to sparkle as she reached for him again.  She
captured him and wrapped his manhood in the discarded black silk.  As she began to
stroke him with the silk, he gasped at the new sensation.  “Samantha,” he groaned, his
voice holding a warning of things to come, if she did not allow him some period free of
stimulation.  Her seductive laugh shot up his spine, and he decided that perhaps the only
way to distract her from her purpose was to bring her to the same point herself.  He just
hoped he could control himself long enough to get her there.  

Leaning over he took a breast into his mouth and began to play with the nipple,
distracting both himself and her.  One hand found its way to her breast, the other to the
apex of her thighs.  Finding the wet warmth, his fingers began the rhythm he had learned
was the one that worked on her the fastest.  His mouth left her breast, and she moaned a
complaint as she arched her back looking for the heat of his mouth again.  He trailed
kisses and nips down her stomach and onto her abdomen, heading for that place his
hands were working such magic on.  He wanted, no needed, the taste of her.  His fingers
abandoned the nub as his mouth found it and began to suck lightly, using all his
knowledge of her rhythms to draw gasping breaths from her.

She urged his leg over her and brought his body to her, using her mouth to pleasure him
as he was pleasuring her.  As they both became lost to the sensations, they entered the
point of no return.  Still shuddering from his climax, Martouf rolled to one side of her, but
her mouth never left him.  “Samantha, are you trying to kill me?”  He moaned, and heard
her laugh lightly in her throat.  

Amat Wyn,” she said, as she finally allowed him to leave her, even though she kept
her hand wrapped around him, softly pressing and releasing, a slight, sensuous
stimulation, but one he could not ignore.  She lay on her side, her head pillowed on his
thighs, and changed to stroking him gently, as she gazed at him.  He propped his head on
his hand and watched her, as she watched him.  “Lantash didn’t come forward during our
lovemaking, Martouf.  Is he all right?”

His eyes flaring, Lantash came forward and reached out to caress her.  “I am fine,
 I was simply being lazy and enjoying our encounter in a purely passive way.  A
benefit of being blended, actually, is that the one who is not actively participating, reaps a
highly intense gratification by being able to concentrate fully on what they are feeling,
without being distracted by what they are doing.  It is selfish, perhaps, but extremely
erotic nonetheless.  And, I will return the favor for Martouf at some point, when I take full
control and allow him the pleasure of enjoying the stimulus with no outside distractions.”

Sam looked thoughtful, before saying, “I never thought about it before, but I imagine it
would be an intense experience.  You can focus completely on what you are feeling, not
being responsible for the other person’s enjoyment.  Rather as if I would simply lie back
and concentrate fully on what you and Martouf are doing to me.”

“Yes.  Would you like me to make love to you in that way now, my Samantha?  I would
gladly do so.  I actually find doing that very erotic as well.  It is a sensual exploration of a
different kind and very enjoyable.  Once you blend, it will become a natural extension of
your blended selves,” Lantash offered the information, as he reached out a hand toward
her breast and began to caress her.

“No,” she smiled at him, “Not tonight.  I believe we can leave that for some night when I
wear you out and you need the rest to, ah, recover.  You don’t appear to be having that
problem tonight.  In fact,” she said, as she looked down at the stiffness she was stroking,
“I would say you are not anywhere near that point, tonight.”  Casting him a look that
seared him, she purred, “Come to me, Lantash.  Give me your passion.”

Moving up to lie beside her he lowered his lips to hers as his hands began another session
of study.  His lips followed the curve of her jaw to her ear and from there to the softness of
her throat.  Soon, there were no sounds in the room, but their moans and sighs.    

Inside the room, the flame of desire consumed the couple as they lay together and
followed where it led.  Outside the air cooled, the wind stirred the trees and the moon
looked on with seeming disinterest.  


                      Chapter 29                    Home                    Chapter 31          

 Table of Contents
Blood of My Heart, Beloved of My Soul

Chapter Thirty

Frozen Wine, Black Silk and Moonbeams