Chapter Eight Summary: Daniel and Sam spend the evening together. They have a meal, some wine, and then
some more wine. They discuss the day’s events, and Daniel discloses some odd incidents that occurred during
the meeting that he had omitted during their earlier conversation in his office. As the evening glides by, the wine
starts to take affect and eventually, Sam makes a request of Daniel that he is very happy to oblige. Both of them
learn something about themselves, each other, and their feelings about one another.
Pairing this chapter: Sam/Daniel
As Sam and Daniel entered his office, Sam reached out and touched him gently, “Daniel,
try to relax. It may not mean anything at all. It could all just be a coincidence.”
Her hand dropped from his arm, as Daniel began pacing the small open area in the
room. Hearing the stress and underlying doubt in Sam’s voice, he laughed harshly, a
short bark of derision, before glancing at her and shaking his head. “No, Sam, I just lived
through my dream with the exception that Sha’uri was not standing beside me and
talking to me. I know what I saw and so do you. I told you about it just over a week ago
now.”
“There were not two men in front of her. You could see her face. Her dress was not the
right color and what about the man standing over to one side. He was not there, either. It
was not necessarily your dream, Daniel,” Sam, pointed out almost desperately, as she
tried to find any discrepancy in what he had told her in the cave and the actual scenario
that just played out in the gate room. She tried to find something, anything, which would
help to curb his anxiety and decrease the almost kinetic energy with which he appeared to
be overflowing.
“No,” Daniel’s voice was strangled yet stark as he replied, “It was my dream, Sam. I am
sure of it. I do realize that it was not exactly, as I saw it when I dreamed it. I cannot
explain that, but I also do not believe it makes any difference whatsoever to what we just
saw, and…what I just experienced. You see, Sam, I—I recognized her the minute she
walked through the gate. Even the action of her placing her fingertips on Merdwin’s arm,
as he escorted her down the ramp, was familiar to me. It is as if I have watched her do it
hundreds, no thousands, literally thousands of times in a myriad of situations. I can even
tell you that I know she is always as poised and unflappable in almost any circumstance,
as she was today. I know that I am the only one who can occasionally cause her to blush.
Where did that come from, Sam? How in the hell do I know any of that? And yet, I am as
sure that those things are facts, as I am of my own name.”
“I thought you told me you could not see her face. How could you recognize her, Daniel?
That does not make any sense,” Sam pointed out eagerly as she latched onto the only part
of his speech that addressed something from his dream.
Daniel shook his head briefly, before he answered her. “I did not recognize her by her
face, Sam. I recognized her here,” he said, almost softly, as he put his hand on his chest.
“I could feel it, inside. I have never felt anything like it before in my life. It was as if I was
seeing someone I have known and—” he stopped and shook his head again, but this time
seemingly in denial of what he had almost said, before he continued, “Someone I have
known forever. Everything about her was immediately recognized by, by, something
within me, something I am not even prepared to examine too closely, let alone name, at
this point.”
“Okay, then who was the other man in the dream, Daniel? He was not there today.
Moreover, what about the other discrepancies? The men standing in front of her, the color
of her dress, and the fact that you could see her face very plainly this time?” Sam asked
him. It was not much, but she had to try to help him with whatever she had to use.
Daniel frowned, before answering slowly, “I do not think the man standing off to the side
had anything to do with today. To tell you the truth, I never did understand his purpose.
I do not know why he was in the dream because he was not taking part in what was going
on. However, I am more certain than ever that I know him, and he has some link to
Kataya. Furthermore, whatever it is, I believe it is an important link.”
It was obvious that the entire incident was frustrating as well as confusing him. He
shrugged his shoulders, before going on to say, “As far as the two men, seeing her face,
and the dress, I have no real explanation. There were two men with her; although they
were not standing directly in front of her, so she was visible today. Her dress, well, it
looked close to what I thought the color was. I just named it wrong, I guess. I am not a
fashionista, Sam. Blue, purple, bluish purple, I do not know. They all look pretty much
the same to me. I just called it what I thought of at the time,” exasperation fueled by his
frustration colored his voice.
Sighing tiredly, he summarized how he felt about it, telling her, “Anyway, I truly do not
consider that those differences are important. It is my belief that it is the overall dream,
as well as what Sha’uri said to me within the dream, that I am supposed to give my
attention. It is not the incidentals and minutia of the dream that are important, Sam, but
the underlying message.” Tension etched his brow, and he rubbed it as if he was
attempting to ease an ache.
Visibly shaking himself, he searched Sam’s face before suddenly switching tacks
completely, and asking, “What did you think of her?”
Surprised by the sudden change of direction in the conversation, Sam said exactly what
she felt, “I, well, I liked her. I think she wants Janet to get together with Merdwin. Since I
think that would be a great thing to have happen, I am planning on helping her to throw
them together.”
Looking utterly confused, Daniel asked her, “What are you talking about, Sam? I must
have missed something somewhere because that made no sense to me at all.”
“Daniel,” Sam explained patiently, “Janet and Merdwin took one look at each other and
there was this,” she shrugged, as she tried to figure out how to explain what occurred
when they saw each other. Gesturing with her hands to emphasize her uncertainty, she
said, “I don’t know, connection maybe?” Realizing that she had hit on the exact words she
needed, she continued more confidently, saying, “Yes, that is what it was; an instant
connection happened between them. Even General Hammond saw it. He even assigned
Janet to be Merdwin’s guide during his stay here. I heard them discussing it as we left
the briefing room,” she finished, laughing.
“Well, that just goes to show you how screwed up my head is, Sam. I did not notice any
thing or hear a word of that conversation. I did not even hear General Hammond dismiss
us. It was as if I was lost in a purple fog. One that I did not want to leave,” Daniel said,
before he closed his eyes, as if to either shut something out…or to savor it.
“I am sorry, Daniel. Is there anything I can do that would help you? You know I will do
anything I can for you.” Sam ached for him, but did not know what to do to help him.
She just knew she would do whatever was necessary to alleviate his pain and confusion.
Daniel took her hand in his and squeezed it. “I think I am going to need a friend tonight.
I just can’t think straight. Of course, I am not sure I want to think right now, so maybe
that is a good thing. Have dinner and some TV with me tonight, Sam?” He asked, with
his sweetest smile, before he resumed his pacing.
She smiled at him, and agreed, “Sure thing. I could use some company myself tonight.”
After watching him pace for a minute, she thoughtfully noted, “I noticed she didn’t come
on to you. In fact, the only thing I did notice between you was that first look and then
again at the end of the briefing. You both looked like you were in a trance when it ended.”
Daniel stopped pacing, nodded, and threw himself down onto his office couch. “That first
look was when the recognition hit me. I knew her. No, I know her,” he corrected, sitting
with his head thrown back, his arms wrapped around himself, and his eyes closed as if
reliving something. “Sam, it was as if something I had not even known I was waiting for
was suddenly there, in the room. I felt such a sense of something inexorable, of
inevitability, I just—” his voice trailed off into silence for a time, and then he whispered,
but loud enough for Sam to hear, “I just do not understand it.” He shook himself and
then frowned in puzzlement. “But we were talking about the fact that she did not make
any real move on me. She did not act as if she knew me after that first contact. At least,
not until the end of the briefing. I wonder why?” He mused.
“Maybe you just need to talk to her. She might be able to explain it all away you know.”
Sam brightened. “Maybe it is just that she looks like someone you know, Daniel.”
Daniel smiled wryly, “Nice try, Sam, but I don’t think so. This was way too intense for
that, and there is the dream, too.
Suddenly sitting up from his slouch, he announced, “I am hungry. Are you ready to go
eat? We had an especially early lunch thanks to Jack, if you will remember, and I, for
one, am ready for some food, emotional maelstrom or not.” He appeared puzzled for a few
moments and then said, “You know, that is actually kind of unusual. If truth be told,
even with all of the emotional tumult, I am genuinely hungry. I am not just saying that or
pretending something that I do not feel. I am hungry. Odd.” Shrugging his shoulders
again, he shook his head. “What do you say, Sam? Do we go get something to eat?”
Sam waved toward the door, saying “Sure, that sounds exceptionally good to me. Let’s
go.” They would have a decent meal and then—chocolate. Yup, chocolate for both of
them. And wine. Maybe even lots of wine. Sounded like a plan to her.
Daniel poured the last of their second bottle of wine into their glasses. He realized he was
very relaxed, perhaps even a little drunk. He and Sam had gone out to eat and then they
had returned to his place. They had wine with their meal, too. So, was this really bottle
number two or was it bottle number three? He could not take the trouble to figure out
which it was.
He had opened the first bottle while they watched a Discovery Channel special on the
history of flight. Each preoccupied with their own thoughts, neither had really paid the
show much attention. Shortly after turning the TV off and the stereo on, they were
broaching the second bottle of wine. Chatting about little things and sitting through
comfortable silences, they both ignored the things that were really on their minds.
As the cork on the, he decided, third bottle gave way with a distinctive pop, Daniel looked
over at Sam curled up comfortably on his sofa, her head resting on the back of the couch.
She looked like she could not be bothered to so much as reach for her glass, so Daniel
filled it and handed it to her. She looked, too, as if she belonged there. He leaned back
and settled closely beside her, drawing comfort from her presence.
Knowing that he would find his thoughts too disturbing, Daniel really did not want to be
alone tonight. He would have had nothing to do but think. With Sam, Daniel knew he
did not have to explain anything. If he wanted to talk, then she would listen, and if he did
not, then she would simply be here with him. She understood him without the need for
words, which was why she was here, snuggling next to him on his couch. They were very
comfortable with one another.
Seemingly mesmerized by the deep red liquid in his glass, he abruptly said, “I did not tell
you everything, Sam. Earlier, when we talked in my office, I mean,” he admitted slowly.
“Do you want to tell me now? I am right here listening,” Sam offered quietly, having
known that this moment would come; that it was only a matter of time before Daniel found
the words to talk about it with her.
He took a deep breath and clasped her hand in his. “I know. I appreciate it. I think you
can help—even if only to tell me I am crazy, or I have been celibate too long.” He gave her
a brief smile as he made the last part of his statement.
Sam’s eyes widened as they rested on her friend, but her voice was steady. “Okay. Tell
me. I will help anyway I can, you know that,” she encouraged him to begin.
Taking a deep breath, he nodded and said, “I think I am ready to talk about it now.” He
drank deeply of his wine and then laid his head back. Looking over at Sam, he saw that
she watched him, eyes filled with warmth, acceptance, and concern. She cared about
him, and it showed in her gaze, giving him the courage to tell her about the other things
that had occurred during the briefing. Things that had knocked him sideways, stunning
him with what they indicated was happening. Things that he was not sure he was ready
to accept or deal with at the current time.
“Did you notice that I did not say much during the meeting?” He finally brought himself
to ask.
Sam nodded, “Yes, I did notice. I was a little worried about you, actually. That is not like
you, Daniel. Normally you would have been asking questions right and left.”
“I was watching her,” Daniel murmured softly.
“We were all watching her, Daniel, except maybe, Janet,” Sam exclaimed, smiling slightly
at the thought of Janet and her inability to stop herself from sneaking looks at Merdwin.
Pushing that thought away she returned her attention to Daniel.
Daniel shook his head. “No, Sam, everyone was looking at her and listening to her words.
I was watching her—her expressions, her gestures, how she smiled, and the way she
moved. I was listening to the sound of her voice, not necessarily, what she was saying.
That is why it took me a minute to offer to do the link. It did not register at first that she
was asking for a volunteer.” He paused and cleared his throat. “I kept having these, well,
sort of, flashes, images, of, well, of what seemed to be memories,” he suddenly confessed.
If she had not already been giving Daniel her full and complete attention, then that would
certainly have garnered it. “What do you mean, Daniel? What do you mean by flashes
and images? An even better question, what do you mean by ‘memories’, because that is a
little bit outside the realm of possibilities, as we know it today.” Sam watched Daniel
struggle to put what he was feeling into words and felt slightly alarmed at what she was
seeing and hearing from him.
Daniel looked troubled, and he sighed as he said, “Yeah, I know it is. At least, it is outside
of our concepts. Nevertheless, Sam, we have seen things that we cannot explain before,
things that were in the ‘not possible’ category, until we were proved very wrong. What if
there is something that could place it into the realm of possibility? Here is just one theory
that says it is possible. Reincarnation. What if that is true? Now, we are into a parameter
where it could be possible. That is just one theory. You know there are others that could
explain it whether you believe them to be true or false. I—I cannot completely discount it,
Sam. Not when there is such a vast amount of unknowns out there. There are so many
things in the universe about which we know nothing. So, all I am saying is that I am
going to keep an open mind. I am not going to just label something impossible and walk
away from it refusing to believe it could be true simply because it does not fit into my
concept of ‘possibilities’.”
“That brings us back to your first question. To be completely honest, I am not sure, but I
think they really were memories. Which, of course, as we just said, makes no sense at
all. Except that I saw them and they were very real.” He paused for just a moment, and
then continued slowly, “Once when she moved her head and laughed in a certain way, I
suddenly saw her standing in a castle courtyard, laughing up at me. The sun was striking
her hair and making a golden halo around her head. I remember thinking what a
beautiful person she was both inside and out. I,” he cleared his throat before continuing,
“I think it was some important day because there appeared to be a celebration taking
place, and she, no we, were very sumptuously dressed.” His brow creased and he added,
“Actually, Sam, Merdwin was there, too. He was with one of the most strikingly beautiful
women I think I have ever seen, but he did not seem very happy. I did not like her.
There was something almost evil about her.” His eyes opened wide and he exclaimed,
“Wow, where did that come from?”
“Well, I don’t know, Daniel. I mean, well when they arrived Kataya was dressed like some
medieval lady and Merdwin; well he could certainly have stepped out of one of Arthur’s
tales.” She frowned, saying, “But I don't know where you got the other woman. Unless it
was her daughter?” She asked him.
Daniel shook his head again, and then emphasized his previous refusal of her reason,
stating firmly, “No. I do not think her clothing had anything to do with it. I do not think
that is why I saw that. No, it definitely was not her daughter, either. This woman’s hair
was midnight black and her eyes were very green.” He shuddered as he remembered how
she had looked at him. Predatory was the only word that described that look. He had felt
like a rabbit cornered by a snake. He did not pass that information on to Sam, though.
There was no point in it.
Bringing his attention back to her, he reiterated his response, saying, “No, Sam, I don’t
think it had anything to do with how they were dressed. There was more than that one
flash. Another time, when she looked down at something, I suddenly saw her dressed
similarly to what one of our Vikings would have worn, but I don’t believe it was here. Not
on Earth, I mean. We were in a longhouse. She was smiling at me, but she was sad, too.
I felt it was my fault.” He paused for a minute before beginning to explain the next
memory flash.
He drew in a deep breath, then told her, “Once when she moved her hands a certain
way,” he stopped speaking and blushed deeply. “God, Sam,” he whisper was anguished
and his voice filled with longing and frustration. “I could feel her hands on my body. I
saw us—together—in a huge ornate bed. She was,” he swallowed convulsively and closed
his eyes. “She was making love with me, so passionately.” Opening his eyes, he looked at
Sam. “It was all I could do not to cry out—the sensation was so exquisite, so—so real. You
were all distracted, thank God.” He looked at her, his eyes haunted. “I have never in my
life had anything like that happen, Sam; it was so intense it was all I could do to breathe.”
Eyes wide as she took in what he was telling her, she asked, “Were there any more of
those flashes, Daniel?”
“One. It was when she was talking to her father. The position of her hands—palms up,
the first and fourth fingers extended, three together pointing up. That is part of their
greeting ritual. She did not complete it in the gate room. She should have extended her
hands in that position, and I should have stepped forward and put my finger tips onto
hers as I greeted her.” Daniel looked pale.
“What is it Daniel? What is wrong?” Sam asked anxiously. Whatever it was that
happened in the briefing room was throwing Daniel badly. She did not like it at all.
He continued, still pale, “I just realized that the greeting I would have given her is not the
normal type of greeting of a friend or an acquaintance.”
“Why not?” Sam frowned, wondering what he was trying to say. She got the greeting part,
but what did that have to do with this entire incident?
“Because that greeting, a greeting between friends or acquaintances would go something
like; I give greetings and welcome to thee, Kataya, Lady of Cadwaellon.”
“And what would you have said, Daniel?” Sam asked, but she was not sure she wanted to
know.
He looked at Sam, not really seeing her. “I would have greeted her as I always do, Sam;
Blood of My Heart, I welcome thee.”
Sam blinked at him in stunned surprise, as she realized that the wording was probably
very significant. “What does it mean, Daniel?”
“I don’t know, Sam, but whatever it means—I feel it in my heart and my soul, when I say
it,” he said, in an agonized whisper.
“Daniel, could she have been putting those images into your mind?” Sam asked
hesitantly.
Daniel shook his head. “I thought of that, Sam. As a matter of fact, it is why I
volunteered to do the mind link. After that experience, I am almost sure it was not her
sending thoughts to me.”
“How can you be so sure?” Sam questioned him.
“I don’t know exactly how to explain it. You will understand once you have done a link.
She does not actually come into your mind in an invasive way. She places a link, and
when she does that, as well as when she accesses it, you can feel her. If she had been
sending those flashes or thoughts, or whatever they are, I think I would have felt her do
it.”
He shrugged helplessly, before turning to her again, and saying, “Sam, I do not know
what happened when I looked at her on that ramp. I do not know who she is to me, or
who I am to her. I do not know why I felt what I felt, or how I know the things that I
know. I do not know the meanings of the flashes or where they originate, and I do not
know when I will find out what it all means to me. But, Sam, there is one thing that I do
know, and I know it, feel it, deeper than anything I have ever known before.” He took a
deep breath before continuing, saying, “Sam, I have never, in my entire life, or in my
career, had anything happen to me, not even opening the Stargate and discovering that my
theories were true, that left me with such a feeling of complete and total fulfillment. It was
as if this was what made my life worth living, what it was all about, and she was what
made my heart beat. She…Sam, I think she lives there, and in my blood, and I believe
that is why I would have answered her greeting in that particular way. Because it is, or at
least it was, true. She is the blood of my Heart.”
As the silence stretched after Daniel’s emotional declaration, he suddenly took a deep
breath. With determination in his face, he looked at Sam and smiled. “Don’t look so
worried, Sam. I am going to be all right. I do not have to allow this to get to me and I won’
t. In fact, I think I have talked enough about all this. There is nothing I can do about any
of it, except to wait and see what happens. That will take patience, and when I need to
be, I am good at patience. I can wait until the time comes for me to know, which I believe
it will. So, let’s move on to a more important subject. I have given your situation with
Lantash and Martouf some thought, you know.”
Sam felt torn. She felt as if she should try to say something about the last few things
Daniel had said, but he said he wanted to put it behind him for now. She decided to give
him what he wanted, so she said, “You have?” Sam knew she sounded surprised and she
was a little bit. He had not mentioned that conversation about Martouf and Lantash since
the cave, allowing her time to think and come to terms with her confessions. She thought
he had forgotten all about it. She realized she should have known better.
“I told you I would think about it, Sam,” he reminded her gently. “I have not come up
with a lot though, I am afraid. The only solution I can see is that you two need to spend
time together. Preferably alone. That is what we have to try to arrange. I think we can do
it, it will just take some creative thinking.”
Sam shook her head and it was her turn to sigh. She leaned forward and divided the
remainder of the third bottle between their glasses, before answering him, saying, “I
honestly would like too, Daniel, but our lives don’t exactly abound with opportunities
where we are both free at the same time, and that is very hard to overcome, no matter
how creative your thinking is.”
They both sat contemplating their words, when Daniel suddenly turned to face her fully,
and stated firmly, “You have leave coming, I know. We all have leave stacked up, so do
not try to tell me you don’t.” He waved his hands dismissively, adding, “Beside the point,
which is that you need to take some leave; go stay with your dad in the tunnels. That
would solve the problem at least part way. The two, er, three of you would not be
completely alone, but,” he smiled fully at her as he finished speaking, “at least you would
both be in the same sector of the universe and not only would you both be on the same
world, technically, you would even be staying in the ‘same house’, so to speak.”
After returning his smile with a much dimmer one, she sighed deeply once more, before
shaking her head. “I don’t know, Daniel. Dad and I have talked about getting some time
together, but even when we try to, we come up against the fact that one or the other of us
usually has a mission or there is a crisis of some kind. We have even had it planned and
been ready to do it to the point of being packed to leave and had something come up that
stopped us. If I took time off and went there, and he had to leave on a mission, it would
be very awkward. If we could even get it to that point; like I said, we have tried and failed
before.”
She glanced over at him and took a deep breath before quickly saying, “I may not know
how to pull off a visit to the Tok’Ra tunnels, but I do know one thing; I am almost obsessed
with the two of them. It is so weird, Daniel,” She said, as she picked up the glass she had
refilled earlier with the last of the wine and handed it to him.
“How does that work, Sam? I mean the…the feelings, the emotions. What is it like?
Explain it to me,” Daniel encouraged her to talk about how she felt about them and the
situation. Furthermore, he really did want to know.
“Are you sure you want to hear this?” She looked at him skeptically.
“Yes, I truly do, Sam. I am genuinely curious about how it works.” He flushed lightly. “I
mean, how does it all work? Are your feelings for each of them different? I mean when
you are with Lantash, do you truly see Lantash? Or, or is it just like it is Martouf but he is
talking in a different voice? I am sorry if I am being too nosy. Just tell me if I am, okay?”
Daniel grimaced a little feeling he was asking questions that in actuality might just be too
personal.
Sam shook her head, saying, “No, Daniel, they are not too personal at all. Answering that
question may be hard, though. All I know is that I do not confuse the two of them. I
mean, I can tell just by the facial expressions and gestures when it is Lantash and when it
is Martouf. If Lantash is the one talking to me, which is not as often as I would like, I do
see him and not Martouf. I am not sure I can explain it very well, but I will try.”
She sat quietly, frowning slightly, as she contemplated how to voice what she wanted to
say. Evidently, she finally made a decision, because she started talking, telling him, “they
are so different, Daniel, and yet they compliment one another so well. Lantash is very,
well, he is more likely to make pronouncements and expect them to just be carried out. It
is just a part of him, I think. He is so used to others doing as he says, that it never occurs
to him that someone else might not want to do it.” Sam smiled a little. “Martouf teases
him about it all the time and tells him he has been imitating a Goa’uld System Lord for so
long he has a “God” complex. Lantash, um, usually withdraws then and won’t come back
for a while. It is not fair of us to tease him, I know, but, well, he is just so darn cute when
he gets all flustered, because that is such a rare reaction for him. Lantash is always in
control of himself and if needed, Martouf. He protects him, Daniel, against anything and
everything that he can. It is amazing how careful he is of Martouf.” Sam lapsed into
silence, obviously lost in thought.
Daniel cleared his throat to get her attention and asked softly, “Sam, how do you know all
of those things? Have you had more in depth conversations with them of which I am not
aware?”
Sam looked at him blankly for a moment and then closed her eyes. “This is what happens
to me, Daniel. It is what makes me unsure of my own emotions. I do not know those
things…but Jolinar did.” She sighed yet again. “It makes it very hard to separate my
emotions from hers.” Her lips firmed and she said, “However that is not what we were
talking about. You asked about whether or not I see only Martouf or if I ‘see’ Lantash. I
see them both. I mean, they even hold the body differently. Most people probably would
not even notice it, because some of it is very subtle, but it is definitely there. Martouf uses
his hands slightly more and in a different way than Lantash does. Their smiles are
different and sometimes they even sound different when they talk; although, it is not the
sound of the voice as that is almost always different anyway; it is the way they phrase
things. That does not happen often though.” She shrugged before continuing, saying, “I
suppose that it seems odd that I think of them as two separate beings, even though they
share one body. I do though. They simply have different personalities.”
Suddenly, it was Sam’s turn to blush. “Daniel, promise me that you won’t be shocked if I
tell you something.”
Daniel crossed his heart, and replied solemnly, “I cross my heart and hope to die. I will
not be shocked.”
"Okay. Well, it is kind of like," she coughed, stopping, before trying again. "Well,
sometimes in fantasies," she said, obviously still uncomfortable. "It is almost like I could
have two different men at one time," she finally managed to blurt in a rush, before turning
a bright red.
“Oh, Sam, only you could get embarrassed over those types of thoughts.” Daniel laughed,
and fell over on her. She wrapped her arms around him, and they leaned against each
other chuckling together about her reactions.
“I, um, I think that maybe that third bottle was a little more than we should have had. I
don’t know about you, but I am really starting to feel it,” Daniel observed.
“Me too,” Sam giggled.
After a few moments, Sam got control of herself, and said, “I am not finished telling you
things yet, so no more giggling.”
“Okay,” Daniel replied, as he attempted to straighten himself. Realizing that he was not
going to be successful, he soon gave up and leaned back into Sam’s arms.
Concentrating on what she wanted to convey to him, she continued, “I really do love
Lantash, too. It is not just Martouf with Lantash along like he is just so much excess
luggage, or because he is just there. I love Lantash’s personality. In fact, I think, if it
works out and we end up together, that Lantash will be the more passionate of the two.
Martouf will be the gentler, more tender one. Not that Martouf will not be passionate. He
will be, I know. I mean, I have some of Jolinar’s memories, so I really do know. It is just
that Lantash is well, um.” She hesitated, and then said, a little breathlessly, "He is
pretty—wow—if you know what I mean.” As she spoke, she realized she felt better. She
had needed to share her thoughts and feelings with someone for a long time.
“It makes sense, Sam. I mean, think about it. Lantash has had, what, probably two
thousand years or more, to learn how to make love to a woman. I mean, he has to be an
expert lover by now. It stands to reason,” Daniel pointed out.
“I never considered that, Daniel. You are probably correct. No wonder they are so, well,
such good lovers. I mean, because Martouf is, too, you know. He has Lantash's
memories, so he is probably as aware of what to do as Lantash is,” Sam said, as she
settled more firmly against Daniel as they half sat on the sofa and half reclined. Sam
sighed tiredly and rested her cheek on the top of Daniel’s head. Their giggles had passed,
and they had become quiet, relaxed, and content.
Sam breathed in the masculine scent of Daniel and realized that even after talking about
Martouf, Lantash, and Kataya, having Daniel resting in her arms now seemed so—right
and good, as if he was supposed to be there.
Her thoughts drifting to the conversation she had earlier in the day with Janet, Sam
concluded that she was right. Daniel was perfect husband material. He was attractive,
smart, fun, and witty. The only thing she did not know was why she had not fallen in love
with this extremely nice, wonderful man and what it would be like if he kissed her. How
would she react to that?
Tentative, Sam asked, “Daniel?”
“Hm?” He replied drowsily.
“Would you mind kissing me?” Sam heard herself ask quietly.
“Sure, Sam, whatever you want,” Daniel answered promptly.
“No, really, Daniel, I am curious. Seriously, I want you to kiss me.” Now that the thought
had entered her head, Sam was determined to find out what it would be like to kiss
Daniel. They were friends, weren’t they, and they could ask each other anything; Daniel
had said so.
“Kay. However, I think we ought to lay down first because my head is spinning. Daniel
closed his eyes against the turning of the room.
“Right. Um, we need to find your bed,” Sam said earnestly, peering around vaguely, as if
expecting it to materialize in front of her. She shook her head to try to clear it but that
was the wrong thing to do. It seemed as if the more time that passed, the blurrier
everything was becoming.
“It is that way.” He threw his arm toward the general direction of the bedroom. Between
the two of them, they managed to get off the couch.
Holding each other up, they slowly made their way to the bedroom, shedding shoes, socks
and anything else, they could comfortably and safely rid themselves of on the way. Daniel
stopped at his dresser and dragged some sweat bottoms out of a drawer. He grabbed a T-
shirt and some shorts for Sam, determined to be a thoughtful host. He could not expect
her to sleep in nothing, right? He looked at the shorts and t-shirt in disgust, sighed, and
handed them to her. “Here you go, Sam. Jammies.”
“Thanks Daniel.” They each sat on the bed, looking at their nightclothes. It was not the
first time they had shared close quarters to dress. You got used to that type of thing; it
was just another everyday function you performed in mixed company. You didn’t think
anything of it, right? Knowing they should put them on, Sam struggled to get the T-shirt
on and then turned impatiently to Daniel. “You were supposed to kiss me,” she insisted.
After a victory in the struggle with sweatpants that did not want to be pulled on, and a
shirt that did not want to be pulled off, Daniel fell back onto the pillows on the bed. He
opened one eye to look at her, and then quickly closed it again as his blurred vision
without his glasses made the room spin worse. He was really going to have a headache
tomorrow; he would bet money on it. He would worry about that later, like in the
morning. He almost moaned at the thought, but instead he answered Sam shoving those
thoughts aside.
“’Kay, Sam, come here, and I will kiss you. You are right; I need a friend tonight, too,” he
murmured as he reached out for her.
Sam lay down beside him. “Daniel, I think we are both going to be really sorry in the
morning. So, I am going to apologize now, ‘kay?” Sam said, as her conscience tried to
exert itself.
“Yeah, sure, Sam,” he enunciated carefully. “I will says sorry now, too.”
“’Kay, Daniel.” Sam thought for a minute. “Daniel?”
“Yeah, Sam?” He asked, as he began to snuggle with her in his arms. She felt good there.
“When you kiss me,” she paused, and then continued hesitantly, “would you talk to me in
Goa’uld?”
“In Goa’uld? Sure, I think I can do that.” He frowned for a moment in thought. “French
is prettier, Sam, are you sure you don’t want me to speak that?” He asked, just to make
sure.
“No,” she assured him, “I want to hear you speak Goa’uld to me.” She paused again, and
then said, “Daniel?”
“Yeah, Sam?”
“Would you call me Samantha, too?”
“Sure, Sam, uh, Sam-man-tha,” he pronounced slowly. Then, starting as he meant to go
on, he murmured softly in Goa’uld, “I am going to kiss you now, Samantha.”
Daniel raised himself up on one elbow and leaned over her close enough to see her
without his glasses. Sam really was a beautiful woman, and he definitely did not have to
force himself to kiss her. She smelled good, feminine, and alluring. He wondered hazily
why he had never kissed Sam before. Even after their talk, this somehow still felt right. It
was as if she was a part of his heart. She was his friend, his anchor, and he was hers.
Their lips met and clung.
Somewhere in the back of Sam’s mind, she remembered that this was an experiment to
see if she would react to Daniel’s kiss. In reality, she had known she would. He was a
part of her heart.
As Daniel lowered his head to kiss her again, another thought distracted her. She
wondered if Martouf and Lantash kissed as well as Daniel. They always did in her
fantasies and in her memories. They were going to kiss her again, now. They were
whispering to her in Goa’uld, just the way she had always known they would. She would
ask them later what they said. Right now, it didn’t matter. She just wanted to feel their
lips on hers again.
Their body was so warm, so strong, and firm. Their well-muscled thighs pressed against
her. Hard yet gentle arms cradled her. She could feel the muscles rippling in their back.
If she rubbed his neck, would Lantash feel her caress? She used her hand to softly stroke
his neck and down his spine. Was he groaning because it felt good? She would have to
remember to ask him. Her hand slid lower to caress his manhood. She rubbed the base
of his spine and trailed her fingers down to caress him again and then back up to his
neck.
She felt the hard thrust of his manhood against her thigh as he pressed her deeper into
the bed. As the searing kisses branding her neck crept upwards once again to claim her
mouth, she cupped the back of his neck and pressed gently as her other arm encircled
them. As darkness claimed her, she whispered their names one final time. Lantash.
Martouf.
Beside her, their legs entwined, wrapped in her arms, his head nestled next to hers,
Daniel dreamed of a woman in a violet blue dress. One whose beautiful violet eyes spoke
of untold mysteries, and whose soft golden skin felt like silk. A woman whose kisses had
tasted just like deep red wine.
Samantha Carter’s eyes popped open and just as quickly shut. Oh, God, it had been a
dream. A wonderful dream, true, but only a dream.
She was not in bed with Martouf and Lantash. She cracked one of her eyes open just to
make sure. Two beautiful blue eyes looked back at her, but they were ocean blue, not the
silvery, gray-blue that was Martouf’s eyes. She sighed deeply and opened her other eye.
“Um, I don’t suppose you remember how and why we are both in your bed, do you,
Daniel?” Sam asked tentatively.
“Well, let’s just say that while there are a few missing pieces here and there, I don’t think I
have forgotten anything major, Sam.” He grinned slightly at the unintentional pun. He
thought about calling her Samantha, but decided not to tease her. He had a feeling that
this situation was going to take some extremely careful handling.
“God, Daniel, I am so sorry,” Sam’s voice was alive with a mixture of regret and
embarrassment, as she answered him. What she would really like to do was crawl under
the covers and not come out for several years. At least, not while Daniel was around to
see her. On second thought, maybe death was preferable. Then she would never have to
face Daniel again.
“I do remember apologizing in advance, Sam. And I remember that you did, too,” Daniel
replied gently, wishing he could set her mind at ease quickly and easily, something that
he knew was not going to happen. He could tell that she was wondering how she would
ever face him again.
Sam winced. “What exactly do you remember, Daniel?”
Daniel smiled. “One of the nicest propositions I have ever had.” Sam cringed inside and
briefly closed her eyes again.
“Daniel, did I ask you to kiss me?” She whispered, both embarrassed and appalled by
what she had done.
Knowing he might as well get the details out in the open all at once, he replied, “Um,
yeah, I remember that part. And the part where you asked me to call you Samantha and
to speak Goa’uld when I kissed you.”
Sam sat up abruptly, hid her face in her hands, and moaned. “I cannot believe I did
that. I mean, I believe what you are telling me, Daniel, I have a vague recollection of it; I
just cannot believe I actually did it. How could I do that?” She moaned again, as she
clasped her temples.
“What do you remember, Sam?” Daniel asked, softly. He had to get her past the
embarrassment, so she would realize that nothing had really happened between them
that they could not fix.
“We went out to dinner, watched some TV, listened to the stereo, drank some more wine,
and relaxed. When we opened the last bottle of wine, we started to talk about Kataya and
Lantash and Martouf.” She frowned in concentration. “I started thinking about a
conversation Janet and I had. I kept wondering why I had not fallen in love with you.”
She sighed deeply. “I was curious about whether I would react to kissing you. I guess I
finally had enough wine that I found the courage to ask you to kiss me. After that, it gets
a little blurrier.” Suddenly, she looked down. “Oh, thank God, we are still sort of
dressed. But…but this shirt is not mine!”
“Jammies,” Daniel stated succinctly. He laughed before quickly stopping, grabbing his
head. “Wow, what a headache. Time for aspirin and coffee.” He looked over at Sam.
“That was my first reaction, too, Sam,” he said with sympathy in his voice, even as he
chuckled. “At least neither of us completely lost our minds. And as for the, er, Jammies, I
don’t think either of us could have made it into the guest room to get yours, Sam. I am
almost surprised I managed to find you something you could wear instead.”
Sam grabbed a pillow, and whacked him with it. “Daniel! This is not funny. We could
have…We almost…What if we had…” She stopped, and her eyes widened in horror, “What
if they find…How can we explain…What are we going to…?” She finally stopped her
disjointed, garbled attempts at speech and concentrated on a question she thought there
might actually be an answer for, “Daniel, why were you laughing?”
Daniel's look as he gazed at her was sincere and open. “I was laughing because I just
woke up to find myself half-dressed and in bed with my best friend, Sam.” His laughter
died as he took her hand and held it, softly stroking it with his thumb. His voice turned
solemn and warm as he continued, “I needed my friend last night, Sam, and I think she
needed me. Not in a sexual way, but in a—” He stopped speaking abruptly, obviously
thinking about the evening before.
Finally, he looked at her and keeping his voice gentle but earnest, he said, “You know
what one of my last thoughts was before I went to sleep? That I can remember, I mean?
It was that you were my anchor, a part of my heart.” Pausing again, he looked at her and
the smile he sent her way was sweet and warm.
“Sam, you are a beautiful, warm, caring woman, and I am so lucky to have you as a
friend. I am not sorry I kissed you last night. We both needed a shoulder to lean on;
arms to hold us, and the warmth, and comfort that only close physical contact can give.
We trust each other enough to be able to ask for what we need. You had a reason for
asking what you did, Sam, and I had a reason for agreeing. Remember the cave? We can
ask anything of each other, Sam. Anything, and not feel like the other one will think less
of us.” Pausing once more, Daniel chose his words carefully, wanting to reassure Sam,
but at the same time, wanting to let her know that he regretted nothing that had
happened between them. It had felt right.
“Well, you needed to be kissed and held, and so did I. I don’t think any less of you for
needing that. And, if you pretended that I was Martouf and Lantash, well, I can accept
and understand that, too. We both needed comfort for our own reasons, and we gave that
to each other. I am okay with it, Sam, and I hope you are, too. We felt safe with each
other. Nothing happened, but do you know what? Even if it had, we would have worked
through it. We will always be here for each other. Always, Sam, because you are a part of
my heart and you always will be. Nothing and no one will ever change that, I promise
you.” Daniel just managed to stop himself from frowning when he finished speaking. He
felt as if he had said something deep and profound, almost like a vow.
Daniel finished his monologue and smiled teasingly at her. “As for all of the questions
that are running around your head like demented squirrels in a cage, I think I can
answer at least some of them. At least the ones I think you were trying to ask, that is,” he
added cheekily.
He looked at her and spoke sincerely, “Sam, we really did not do anything terrible or
wrong. Yes, we let things go a little far, but the truth is that we are not,” he sighed deeply
and looked at the ceiling for a moment before returning his gaze to her as he started his
thought over. “The truth is that they have no more claim on us, than we do on them. It
was a personal moment out of time between friends, Sam, so stop beating yourself up over
it. You have nothing to feel guilt over, and neither do I,” he stated decisively and firmly.
“You are right, Daniel. You know,” tears welled up and threatened to flow, “you really are
a wonderful man, Daniel Jackson, and I am one incredibly lucky woman to have you for a
friend. You are so very special. And I feel the same way, Daniel. You said it exactly. We
will always here for each other. Always, Daniel, because you are a part of my heart and
you always will be. Nothing and no one will ever change that, I promise you.” Sam felt a
jolt in her heart as she finished. She felt like she had just made a very important
declaration. Well, that was as it should be. She and Daniel were really close and they
would remain that way forever.
“Thanks, Sam, that means a lot to me. More than you will ever know,” he said quietly.
Then, feeling that things should get on a lighter, more unemotional footing for both their
sakes, Daniel suddenly grinned at her as he swung off the bed, saying, “And you might
want to know, you were not the only curious one in this bed last night, Major-Doctor
Carter. I remember feeling distinctly disappointed when you managed to get that t-shirt
on.” With that parting shot, he headed for the kitchen throwing over his shoulder, “I will
fix some coffee. You can have the bathroom first, but we are going to have to move it if we
don’t want to be late.”
Sam laughed softly in answer. Daniel would make some very lucky woman a wonderful
husband.
Evidently, Sam thought, I can’t see any man but Martouf and Lantash, though, so it will
not be me. She got up and headed for the bathroom. Daniel was right; they were going to
have to hurry if they didn’t want to be late.
TBC
Chapter 7 Home Chapter 9
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| Blood of My Heart, Beloved of My Soul Chapter Eight Friends and Memories |
