Chapter Two Summary: Sam collapses and Jacob makes the decision to take her to the Tok'Ra tunnels. Daniel promises to stay with her, so he accompanies them. Jacob explains to Martouf and Lantash that Fondness does not equate to love for the Tau'ri and Daniel and Martouf/Lantash come to a meeting of their minds.
“Italics” – Symbiote-Host communication
As Narim quietly left the three of them, Samantha spun around to face the courtyard gardens. She gasped, as she choked on a sob. God, why was she so near to tears all the time? She was a soldier, an officer in the USAF. Officers and soldiers did not cry.
How could she bear to be causing that wonderful man this pain? As the second sob escaped her, she felt arms enfold her. She turned to find Daniel standing there. Suddenly, she was in his arms, crying. “It is okay, Sam, I have you. You are going to be okay, I promise.”
She abruptly jerked away from him and once again spun around to face the gardens. She began to hit the balustrade with her fists. “No, it will not. It will not ever be okay again, damn it,” she cried, her voice harsh with pain. Pulling her back into his arms, Daniel looked over Sam’s head at Martouf and mouthed, “Jacob.” Martouf spun on his heel and took off to find his Samantha’s father.
“We stood and did nothing Lantash. Why did we not step forward and give her comfort?” Martouf asked, feeling remorse.
“We can confront our lack of response later, Martouf; we must find Jacob,” Lantash responded, as he focused on the task at hand.
“He is over there,” Martouf told him, as he spotted him in a nearby group.
Walking quickly, they approached him and leaned forward to say quietly in his ear, “Jacob, Samantha is on the balcony, crying and,” he got no further. Jacob was gone, leaving Martouf to turn and follow him back to the balcony on which they had left Daniel and Samantha.
As her strength suddenly seemed to desert her, Sam stopped struggling against Daniel and lay in his arms, not moving and barely seeming to breath. “Sam, Martouf went for your dad. He should be here soon. You will be okay. I promise you will. I promise, Sam.”
“I h-hurt Narim, D-Daniel, and I d-did not m-mean to, I d-didn’t w-want to, I h-had to and I d-didn’t w-want to.” Again, Sam was sobbing as if her heart would break. Daniel looked grim. Sam would hate hurting Narim, but she would not react this way. She was, in Daniel’s limited experience, completely overwrought and near the breaking point. He wondered if she managed to get any sleep at all that was without nightmares. Somehow, he doubted it. As he leaned back, to look into her face, to tell her that her father would soon be there she gasped, “D-don’t l-leave m-me, Daniel. P-please d-don’t l-leave m-me.”
“I promise I won’t leave you as long as you want or need me to be there for you, Sam. I promise,” Daniel quietly gave his word. He would never leave her as long as she needed him.
Thankfully, he saw Jacob approaching. Daniel kissed Sam gently and stroked her hair and back, murmuring gentle sweet nothings to try to calm her. It worked until she realized her father was there.
Sensing her father’s presence, Sam turned into his arms as they came around her.
“It h-hurts, daddy, it h-hurts s-so m-much,” she cried, as she began to sob so hard that she could barely breathe. Nodding to the two men to go in and take care that nothing disturbed them, he also mouthed to them, “Find out what you can.” They nodded and left with the sound of Sam’s sobs haunting them, for Sam did not cry. At least, not in front of them.
The two young women were reluctant to talk at first but, when they explained to them what was happening to Samantha, the eldest turned to Daniel, having sensed that he and Samantha were very close, and indicated she would tell him privately. The others did not know what she said; Martouf only knew he had never seen Daniel look so grim, as he headed out to where Sam and Jacob were.
“Jacob,” Daniel barely breathed the words so Sam would not hear him over her crying, “It is worse than we thought. I will tell you later; I am coming with. The girls are allowing Narim to take them to Argos.” With his message delivered, he melted back into the room making sure he shut the door on the two outside. Luckily, none of them had forgotten to close it.
“Hush, baby, hush, I am here. I am here, Sammie, honey, I am here,” Her father crooned to her as he rocked her gently. Kissing the top of her head softly and then laying his cheek against it, he continued to murmur until her sobbing quieted and she grew limp in his arms.
“I am s-sorry; I am s-so s-sorry. I d-don’t know w-what is wrong with m-me. Every l-little thing s-seems to set me off. B-but, this wasn’t n-nothing; I m-mean it is always h-hard to h-hurt someone, but to h-hurt such a s-sweet, gentle man, I f-feel like s-such a j-jerk.” Crying again, but softly this time, she remained limp in her father’s arms.
“Sam, I am taking you home with me. I don’t want you to argue with me, okay? He said softly into her ear. “I just want you to come with me, no worries, no guilt trips, and no sense of deserting your team. Just you, me, and time together.”
Straightening, Sam shook her head, “No, I have to take the girls to Argos. I promised them I would be there to see them through this first meeting with the little settlement, since they will all come out to meet them. I w-won’t; I can’t let them down again. N-not again.”
Jacob sighed, “Sam, Narim went with them. They left about ten minutes ago. Sam, why won’t you tell us; why didn’t you talk to Janet or…” Jacob could not go any farther, his own voice now suspended by tears.
“Daddy, I-I c-can’t, I c-can’t get c-clean. I d-did not ever w-want you to know, n-not you, n- not Martouf or D-Daniel or anyone. I h-hate it s-so m-much.” She sobbed again, as Jacob crushed her to him, tears sliding slowly down his cheeks.”
“You are not the one that is dirty, Sam; he was, but he is dead and gone. Lantash killed him. It was not slowly or painfully enough, but he is gone for good, and you are here and alive, beautiful, pure, and clean. And we will always love you, no matter what. We all love you, Sam,” he whispered to her softly, as she again became quiet in his arm. His voice was soft, but his face was grim. She needed sleep; even he could tell that.
He had to lean closer to hear her whisper, “No, t-they d-do not love m-me; they are f-fond of m-me and h-have great affection for m-me, but they d-do not love m-me the w-way I l-love them. They n-never w-will, n-now.” He heard her sigh and closed his eyes. Damn, could it get any worse? He frowned though, because he could have sworn that Martouf and Lantash were more than fond of his daughter.
Jacob looked up as the door opened, and Janet Fraiser came through it, her bag in her hand. Moving swiftly, she took a syringe she had ready, and injected Sam with it.
Jerking her head around, Sam looked at her, eyes wide and red-rimmed. “W-what did you d-do, Janet; w-what did you d-do? I c-can’t sleep; I c-cannot. They will c-come for m-me again if I sleep.” Her voice fell to a whisper as the powerful drug took affect and she slowly went limp. Martouf stepped forward this time and swung her up and into his arms.
“I suggest we take her at once, Jacob. We do not know how long the drug will last. You are welcome to come, Dr. Fraiser, but we are taking her to the Tok’Ra base.”
Janet looked as if she was about to protest, but Jacob cut her off. “Our healers work with this type of thing often, Janet. I am the one that decided to take her home with me. If there is a problem you can tell George that I kidnapped her.” Jacob’s voice was tense, and it was obvious that no one was going to take his daughter from him.
Martouf turned and headed towards the Chaappa’ai, Samantha limp in his arms. The first person they ran into was Jack.
“What is going on, Jacob?” Jack asked looking from Sam, limp in Martouf’s arms, to Jacob, who was behind him with Janet and Daniel.
“I am kidnapping Sam, Daniel, and Janet. Do me a favor and don’t mount a rescue mission for a few weeks at least, okay?”
Jack looked from him to Daniel to Janet and was not surprised when Daniel said, “I promised Sam. Janet will probably be back as soon as she gives the healers instructions on the tranquilizers. We know she cannot stay away from the SGC indefinitely. However, I can, and Sam has no choice, so we will return when we can. And if the air force wants to throw a fit, they can list her as MIA for all I care,” Daniel said bluntly.
He looked at Jack, and said, “None of us were even close in our guesses.” He strode after Martouf, and Jacob turned back long enough to tell Jack, “Explain to George that Sam had a breakdown and our healers are better able to deal with this with Sam’s chemical differences, will you?”
Finally, Jack nodded, “Okay, and the rescue party may end up going to the wrong planet.”
“Thanks, Jack, I owe you one.”
“Yeah, and hey! I’ll collect too.” Jack hollered after him. Turning to Teal’c he said, “Well, I guess we say our good-byes, and then go try to explain to the General how Carter, the Doc, and Daniel were kidnapped by the Tok’Ra.”
Shaking his head, Jack turned, and the two of them headed in to do the diplomatic thing. He was surprised when High Chancellor Travell, said to him, “We truly hope that Major Carter recovers completely. No one should have to endure what she did. She will be in our thoughts.” When Jack looked at her in surprise, she elaborated. “Both of the Goa’uld that were removed took great pleasure in telling us in graphic detail what had been done to both of the young woman, but more particularly to Major Carter.”
“I know you think us too pacifist in some ways, Colonel, but let me assure you that while we protected the two women from the pain of the separation, no such precautions were taken for the Goa’uld. In fact, one of them did not survive the procedure. It was, of course, her own fault, for she refused to be peacefully parted from the host.”
Jack looked at the High Chancellor with a new sense of respect. Some people just never stopped throwing curves at you. “Well, thanks, but you know we probably need that information, so that we can do all that we can to help Carter.’
“It was given to Dr. Jackson before he left. Both from Serata and then from the attendants that were present during the procedure, when we realized that Major Carter had finally given in to the trauma of what she had to endure. I am sure that Dr. Jackson can be trusted to see to it that she has every care and attention that she needs. They are very close, are they not? And, of course, the Tok’Ra will take great care of her.” Seeing Jack’s questioning look, she continued, “For her father’s sake, if for no other reason, Colonel.”
“Oh, yeah, I’m sure you’re right. I wonder if the Nox could help her?” He looked at Chancellor Travell, a question in his eyes.
“We will contact them to see, Colonel, and if they can, we will send them to the base where Major Carter is, ah, staying.” She smiled slightly and bowed her head. They had been walking toward the Stargate. Teal’c input the glyphs, activated a wormhole, and sent their IDC. “If we find out anything we will let you know, Colonel.” She bowed to him and turned to Teal’c. “Good day, Teal’c. We will look forward to seeing you both again.”
Nodding goodbye, the two men stepped into the event horizon. At least one of them was wondering how he was going to explain to his commanding officer how he managed to allow the Tok’Ra to kidnap his archeologist, his chief medical officer, and his 2IC.
Stepping onto the ramp, he was not surprised to see said General waiting. “Where are Dr. Fraiser, Dr. Jackson, and Major Carter?”
“It appears, General Hammond, that they have been adult-stolen from us by the Tok’Ra,” Teal’c announced calmly.
“He means kidnapped, Sir. We should probably go into your office for this.”
Nodding once, the General headed out the door toward his office, “Adult-stolen, Teal’c? That is a new spin on an old word.”
Entering his office, he closed the door and said, “All right, now, do you think you could tell me what has happened? When Dr. Jackson called and asked for Dr. Fraiser, she said that Major Carter had taken ill? Care to tell me what’s going on?”
“I am not completely sure, myself, Sir. Teal’c and I had gone with some of their security people to look at a TER they have, and we were not there. From what we learned from Jacob and Chancellor Travell, it seems that Carter has not been talking about some nasty things that happened during her captivity. I don’t know what it was, but from the look on Jacob’s face and Daniel’s it must have been pretty bad.”
“Anyway, evidently, Carter finally caved and pretty much collapsed. Daniel called Fraiser; Jacob informed me he was taking his daughter for treatment by the healers at the Tok’Ra base, and because Janet had given Carter an injection, they took her with them. Daniel had promised Carter he would stay with her, so basically, Jacob said he didn’t care how you listed them, MIA, captured by the Tok’Ra, whatever, he was taking her and he would return her when she was well.”
“We can expect Fraiser back when she feels she can leave Carter in their hands; Daniel will come back when he feels Carter is recovering and no longer needs him.”
“Very well, Colonel. That will be all.”
“General Hammond shook his head, “Jack, I will list Major Carter on extended medical leave due to her recent capture and torture. Dr. Jackson is staying with her because he is a close friend who seems to be able to get her to talk to him. End of story.”
“Well, that is good, Sir. I told Jacob the rescue party would be late. Glad to hear I was telling the truth.”
“You were. Take some time and get some rest. If they are not back in a couple of weeks there are plenty of others you can use as temps on your team until they return.”
“Thank you, Sir.” Jack and Teal’c headed toward the mess hall, and Jack turned to Teal’c. “Sometimes ya just never know. Now, how about you tell me what you think happened that made Carter go off like that.”
God, were they coming for her again? It was so quiet. She could hear quiet breathing near by, but at least it was not one of the other women sobbing in pain and terror. She wondered if she could move. Had they used the sarcophagus on her again? She was not really in pain, so they must have. She did not want to open her eyes; they hurt. She frowned. Usually when she came out, she felt fine. She did not feel good at all right now, her eyes felt swollen and her nose was stuffy as if she had fallen asleep crying. So, what else was new? Slowly she opened her eyes a little at a time and attempted to move her head. A little soft light was reflecting off the crystal walls. Crystal walls?
Sam sat up suddenly and looked frantically around her, trying to figure out where she was. What had happened to her? She watched in fear as a man stood and came toward her. She could not help it; she shrank back from him and grasped the light blanket tightly against herself. Blanket? What did she have on? It was some type of lightweight gown.
“Samantha?” Martouf questioned gently, “You are all right, I promise you. Your father brought you here to the base. You are on the Tok’Ra base.”
Sam gasped, “Martouf, I am sorry, I did not know who—” her voice broke and she grasped her lower lip between her teeth. Getting her voice under control, she said, more calmly, “What happened? I don’t remember exactly what happened. We were on the Tollan world, and I was talking to Narim, and he—” she closed her eyes as the events began to coalesce into a firm picture. As she wrapped her arms around herself and began to rock, Martouf sat gingerly on the edge of the sleeping platform. She looked at him with tears in her eyes and as they spilled over, she angrily brushed them away.
“I hurt him,” she whispered hoarsely. She moaned as she repeated it, “I hurt him. I never meant to hurt him.”
Martouf slowly held his arms out to Sam, but she shook her head. “No, no don’t touch me. I am a fallen angel; Narim said so. His fallen angel.” Her brow furrowed. “I can’t remember what else he said,” She muttered almost inaudibly, “Something about ‘angels falling and someone getting hurt. They get dirty when they fall.” Looking down she began to rub her hands together, and then she said, “My hands are dirty; I am dirty. I need to take a long bath, scrub myself, and see if I can get clean. Martouf, where can I take a bath, please?”
“Samantha, you are not dirty. You are clean and you have slept for several hours. Your Dr. Fraiser is here with you, Jacob, and Daniel. Do you remember Daniel promising to come with you?”
Sam grasped his out held hand. “Daniel, yes, I want Daniel. Please, please, where is Daniel?” Biting her lip, she seemed to force herself to become calm. “I am sorry. I am being stupid, silly, and childish. I am tired; perhaps I should try to sleep some more. You will not go, will you?”
“No, my Samantha, I will not leave you as long as you wish me to remain,” Martouf assured her softly. “Lantash and I will stay with you while you rest, I promise you.”
“When you offered to hold me, did you mean it?” Sam asked hesitantly.
“Yes, I will hold you as long as you wish,” Martouf said to her softly, as Sam moved over on the platform to give him room to sit more comfortably if he chose. He surprised and alarmed her a little when, instead of sitting, he turned to lie down next to her. He felt her stiffen, and he at once murmured softly to her. Eyeing him, she slowly lay back down to lie next to him. Feeling her relax, he moved to take her into his arms. Again, she became tense.
“I am not going to hurt you in any way, Samantha, nor am I going to use your body against your will. You will simply lie next to me and allow me to hold you and keep you safe while you sleep. Janet informed our healers about what has occurred, and one of the things they suggested was that we make sure that someone is with you and that you are always assured that you are safe with us. No one will come to get you while I am here, Samantha. You may sleep as long as you wish and no one, no one at all, will take you from me. I promise you, my love.”
Sam had been slowly relaxing into his arms and, as she became drowsy once again, she said softly, “Am I your love? Really your love and not just your fondness?” She questioned him to his surprise.
“Yes, you are. My love, always.” Martouf whispered into her hair, but Sam was already asleep. Martouf tried to relax and empty his mind of the images that kept reappearing every time he closed his eyes. Opening them, he sighed. If he was having this much trouble, how much worse was it for Samantha? He had only heard a verbal description; she had lived the nightmare. He did not think he had ever seen Daniel Jackson look murderous until today. There was no doubt in his mind that if Lantash had not already killed him, there would be a mission containing the three of them to hunt down and kill Gamtesh.
As far as he knew, none of their operatives ever endured anything nearly as horrific as what Samantha lived through. They were not sure how much help they were going to be, but they would do everything they could. They talked to some of the women who had been through a similar experience and each of them had been appalled and apprehensive about how long it would take Samantha to heal. As one of them had put it, “To this day I have not healed well; I have a very bad scar, and in some situations, it takes everything I have not to give in to the fear and loathing the memories engender. Do not expect her to bounce back from this in a few days. It could very well take weeks before she can function on a minimal level, months before she can be marginally normal and able to react in a normal manner to some situations. It is a shame she is not Tok’Ra, for the symbiote helps a great deal in managing to bury the images. It is too bad she does not wish to be blended.” Martouf sighed again. It was a shame she did not wish to blend, for then he would have her near always as well as giving her help through this. He and Jacob had discussed it briefly and both agreed that they would not do that to her unless she agreed, and that was unlikely. Not only that, but both Daniel and Janet had pointed out that just mentioning it could put added stress on her and bring up other unpleasant memories from her sojourn as Jolinar’s host.
Burying his face in the sweet fragrance of her hair, his arms tightened around her almost convulsively. He would do anything, anything he could, to help her.
Lying quietly, he was almost dozing himself when he realized that he was no longer alone. He opened his eyes and put his finger to his lips to indicate that she was sleeping, and they should be quiet. Jacob nodded that he understood, and watched as Martouf slowly and gently untangled himself from Sam and eased himself away from her. Getting up, he moved soundlessly to the door. Once in the hall, he leaned against the wall, and said to Jacob, “She awoke and was very disoriented. She seemed better once she realized where she was, and that I was not one of them coming for her again. Do the healers think any of this is withdrawal from the sarcophagus? From what Daniel said, they used it on her several times a day.”
“I wouldn’t doubt it. The sarcophagus is addictive, we know that, and yes, she was in it several times a day from what Daniel found out. On the plus side, she was in need of it, and I personally believe that when it is truly needed, it is not as addictive.” Jacob rubbed the back of his neck. “Listen, are you all right to stay with her for a while longer? Both Daniel and I are going to try to get some sleep, although every time I close my eyes…” he sighed, as he let his sentence trail into silence.
“I have no intention of leaving Samantha anymore than absolutely necessary, Jacob. I promised her I would sleep with her and protect her. I do not want her awakening and finding me gone.”
“Don’t hurt her anymore, Martouf. If you don’t love her, then turn her care completely over to Daniel and myself,” Jacob suddenly said, bluntly.
Startled, Martouf looked at him blankly for a moment. “But, I do love her Jacob, you know that. I told her so, today, on the Tollan world.” Martouf frowned at Jacob.
“Well, she is under the impression that you are fond of her and have an affection for her. You have an affection for your dog, and you are fond of steak or French fries, not a woman.” Seeing Martouf’s puzzled expression, he said before he could ask, “Never mind. Just see that you do not hurt her. If you don’t or can’t tell her and reassure her that you love her, then leave her alone and we will take over full time from here on.”
Looking pensive for a moment, Martouf said, “She asked for Daniel when she awoke. She questioned me earlier about my fondness. I was trying not to pressure her, since she is confused as to whose feelings she is feeling, hers or Jolinar’s. It is difficult to know how quickly to press her.”
“Well, at this point in time, she needs to know that you love her no matter what; that you aren’t disgusted by her. I guess that is a thought that re-occurs for these women, the feeling that they will disgust the men in their lives, and they will consider them soiled. She will need a lot of reassurance about that Martouf, and if either you or Lantash place any blame on her at all, or feel in any way that she is less than she ever was, she will know.”
Jacob watched his eyes flare and heard the deeper tones of Lantash when he said, “Samantha is in no way to blame for this. It was nothing she could have prevented. I do not see how she could think we would blame her for being knocked unconscious and taken prisoner. I have no disgust or blame to lay on her, Jacob, and neither does Martouf. I do think, though, that perhaps I should allow Daniel to spend time alone with her. I believe they could be more than just friends to one another. They are very close. He immediately knew that something was wrong and went to her, while Martouf and I simply stood not knowing what to do. It made us realize that, perhaps, we would not be the best mates for her, despite the love we have for her. Daniel is much more sensitive to her needs than we.”
“Daniel has known her much longer than you, too. You were shocked because you have never seen Sam like that. Hell, I do not know if I have ever seen her like that, not even when her mother was killed was she like that. I have a feeling that Daniel has a way with those types of situations. He is pretty sensitive himself, you know, and this is really upsetting him.”
“Does he love her, Jacob?” Lantash asked, even though he was not sure he wanted to know the answer.
“Yes, but I don’t think it is in that way. Jack and Teal’c love her, too, but neither one would want to bond with her. I think you do.”
“And Daniel? Does he wish to become Samantha’s mate?”
“No,” answered a voice nearby, “He does not. Nevertheless, he does love her very much and always will. Just not in that way. Sam is special; she is a brilliant woman, an adept soldier, a loving and caring person. There is a lot to love about Sam, but I don’t love her as a man loves a woman. Like I told you earlier, I hope you do, because if you hurt her, then I would have to hurt you, and I really don’t want to attempt to do that,” Daniel said, with a sardonic look at Lantash.
“I am glad to hear that, Dr. ah, Daniel, because I do love her. Very much.”
“Good. Now, the reason I am here. Janet said that, if she woke up again, we should give her another injection. She wants her to sleep at least twelve to fourteen hours. She has been asleep for what…six hours at most? Has she awakened at all? Do you know how to give an injection?”
“Yes, she awoke a little while ago and then returned to sleep. No, I do not. You can show me how?”
“I will send Janet down. She only wants to use them when we have to and she has shown the healers how to use them. I guess you guys have some stuff that Janet thinks will work, too. Janet’s satisfied that your people know more than enough to handle this, so she is heading back soon. I am staying.”
“She asked for you earlier, but she fell back to sleep, and I felt that was the more important thing for the moment,” Lantash explained to Daniel.
“Okay, well, I am going to go get some rest myself, if, that is, I can shut my eyes, and not see those damned visions their graphic explanations have left in my mind. I am not surprised Sam has not been sleeping, if that is what happens when she sleeps,” Daniel said, his voice dark with emotion.
“I will stay with her for now. Go ahead and sleep. We will each need to rest at some point, if we are to keep someone with her at all times,” Lantash said firmly.
Nodding, Daniel yawned, and said, “Okay. If you need me, you know where they put me. I will come if she wants me, so don’t hesitate to call me.”
“Same goes for me, Lantash. Call me if you need to. I will be here ASAP.”
“I will call if you are needed. Thank you.” Obviously listening, he said, “I believe I hear Samantha stirring; I must go.” He watched the other two men walk away and then turned to re-enter the room. In the dim light, he was unprepared, for the scene that greeted him. Samantha stood with a knife raised and as she plunged it toward him, he barely managed to deflect a direct hit to his heart. He never heard her leave the room.